If you’re struggling to get clients, money, and more…here's the problem

If you’re struggling to get clients, money, and more…

Your comfort zone is holding you back.

And event though it’s called a “comfort” zone…it’s anything but comfortable.

And the more time we spend there, we can’t figure out why we’re living perpetually unfulfilled, stressed out, fearful, disappointed lives.

What we think our comfort zone is:

• Where we get to relax

• no pressure

• a place where our minds change out of work clothes, getting jammies on, and getting cozy on a couch

• a relief or escape

• where life stays safe

What our comfort zone actually is:

• stress/worry/anxiety

• doubt

• second-guessing

• disappointment

• regret

• anger

• resentment

• frustration

• fear

• disappointment

• unfulfilled dreams

Your comfort zone is actually filled with all the dreams that you don’t believe you can fulfill and it leaves you with anything but comfort. Unless you choose to change, this is what your mind is set to choose for you.

ARE YOU OVER LIVING IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE YET?

4 things you need to know about breakthroughs

Helping women breakthrough limited thinking to upleveled abundance and freedom is my life’s work. I’m super into creating breakthroughs, if you haven’t notice ;) I mean, a breakthrough is a super cool, life-changing experience with huge results…but I can’t sit silently letting you believe that breakthroughs and uplevels are really the answer to your problems. So, here’s the truth about breakthroughs that people don’t realize. If you don’t know these things getting into personal growth…you may sabotage your own growth and have no idea why you’re so unhappy.

What is a breakthrough?

A breakthrough is a sudden dramatic change in thoughts and behavior. And it doesn't happen by accident. 

It's actually the most natural process in the world-look at nature. Flowers breakthrough their seeds and the ground, growing until they burst into full bloom, creating seeds for future growth. Would you think it was normal if you planted seeds and nothing happened? No-you expect a result. 

The same is true for us. We are meant to crack open, grow, and burst forth into the full bloom of our purpose and impact. So, why don't we? 

Instead of completing the breakthrough cycle, we humans are the ONLY part of nature that chooses to not bloom.  And I'm saying it's time we stopped that.  

Learn more about Stephanie’s Breakthrough Method Coaching

Breakthroughs stretch you to your physical, emotional, and belief limits.

Breakthroughs bring up stuff from our shadow side, our past, and our beliefs. They increase the tension and stress between what we want and what we believe until it induces a breaking point. It can trigger emotions that drain us and external circumstances that tax our ability to stay focused, healthy, and abundant amid the increased tension of our outdated beliefs and our desired beliefs.

Breakthroughs can’t be sped up

they may be instantaneous…but they also could take days…weeks…or even months. Let’s face it…when we know we need a full breakthrough, we want. it. NOW. I see people start rushing into them like they’re able to really speed up the process. But in reality, they’re not speeding it up…theyr’e adding steps between them and their breakthrough.

Breakthroughs challenge your ability to accept yourself

here’s the big question a breakthrough offers us:
”can you accept yourself as you are right now…even if you never change?”

Most people get really antsy and impatient when they know a breakthrough is coming. They NEED to be a different, better person. But…that’s scarcity talking. And a breakthrough-a true breakthrough invites us to accept ourselves right where we are as the fastest way to start changing.

Breakthroughs thrive in a supported environment

I know we always want to deal with our stuff all by ourselves-get our ish together behind closed doors and THEN hire a coach or join a mastermind…but that perspective may actually reduces the impact of your breakthrough. Breakthroughs actually need awareness and openness.

So, If you’re thinking that you’re ready to breakthrough your limited thinking and really tap into abundance, growth, and impact…be warned. This work is NOT for the faint of heart.

But, if you read this and think “this sounds hard, but can I really afford not to do it?” then you’re going to experience really incredible growth.

I can help you do that here:

3 things you need to know about upleveling

An uplevel is the phase following a breakthrough where you assimilate a higher energetic state and assimilate new beliefs into your thinking. It’s a REALLY cool phase, but I notice that people (myself included) often view it as their savior-they think an uplevel solves all their mindset problems. They’ll be reveling in pure bliss, total abundance, and will never have a stressor again.

And when the cold, hard, reality of an uplevel sinks in, people have a tendency to search for their good old comfort zone again, undoing all their dedicated personal growth work.

So here’s what ACTUALLY happens when you uplevel

An uplevel is a physical and healing experience

Emotions vibrate at specific frequencies  in our bodies (like radio stations). Joy vibrates the highest, fear vibrates the lowest.

the higher the vibration in our bodies, the more easily our cells communicate with each other, your body then heals and grows, and we attract in things on that same wavelength.

For contrast, when we vibrate at the heaviest, lowest frequencies of fear, guilt, shame, or anger, our brain sends mixed, confusing messages to our cells. Our cells vibrate slower and communicate with each other less. This causes breakdown in the body, illness, and disease.

Case in point-does stress affect you?

yeah.

That’s vibrational incoherence in your body triggered by low vibration emotions.

An uplevel is the act of your body assimilating the energy and higher frequency that comes with elevated emotions and beliefs.

This is super cool…but is a physical experience-you may experience dizziness, buzzing in your ears, clumsiness, or confusion. That’s normal and very temporary. It may feel draining at first, but soon, you’ll feel incredibly joyful and energized!

An uplevel has requirements

Upleveling is like going to a club (which is a hilarious example because I’ve never been to one…but it fits!) When you get to an uplevel, you need to prove you’re in the right place, much like arriving at a club and a bouncer asking for your ID. If you’re meant to be there, you’ll be able to meet the requirements and prove it through:

• personal boundaries

• forgiveness

• letting go of limiting beliefs

• acting as if you’ve already accomplishing your big goals

After an uplevel, you’ll experience new opportunities to ‘put your money where your mouth is’ and act like you believe what you believe. This comes out in how we move through relationships, circulate money, and engage with ourselves.

If you uplevel, you’re accepting the opportunity to act like it. And you’ll be tested-this is simply God showing us exactly where to put our beliefs into action.

Uplevels aren’t permanent…

I know! no one wants to hear this! But it’s true. Uplevels aren’t a guaranteed permanent level in our lives (really, the only thing that’s permanent is impermanence.). If you don’t actually implement your beliefs when you are tested, you’ll naturally search for your comfort zone. That’s the very binary reality of mindset work-you either choose to implement your changes OR you retreat to your comfort zone.

So next time you think that you’re permanently at a new level, remember that an uplevel requires maintenance, just like reaching your goal weight. You don’t stop eating healthfully or moving your body. You maintain your progress in your mind just as you do in your body.

Are you setting toxic goals? The 2 Mindsets driving toxic goals and how to fix them

Welcome to a new year! It’s goal setting time and the energy is high. But I’m already seeing the cracks in people’s goal-setting approach and it’s time we talk about it.

I hear so many people at the start of the year trying to shape themselves into perfection. I hear things like:

• “I’m finally going to get healthy.”

• “I’m actually going to workout.”

• “I’m going to prep my meals and actually use what’s in my fridge.” 

• “I”m going to learn to be content with what I have and stop buying things.”

But, behind those great goals is a conflict and I always feel so uncomfortable listening to people share their goals when I can see this conflict waging war.

What’s the conflict?

Who I am vs. who I wish I were

We betray ourselves daily then get mad at ourselves for that betrayal. We’ve become machines of distrust and unkindness...we’ve trained ourselves to be this way. But here we are, looking for that breath of fresh air, the hope of a new start. 

We don’t need a new start. 

We need a new mindset.

We need to stop judging ourselves and rejecting ourselves. We need to let go of alllll that deep-seated anger we hold against ourselves. We need to stop holding the good things we want hostage until we “measure up” or “do better.” 

So let’s talk about what drives that kind of toxic-goal setting:

The two mindsets driving toxic goals

Toxic goal mindset 1 | Victim mindset

Everything we want to have in life can be traced back to how we think around circumstances, or events in life that are outside our control. 

• When we believe that circumstance is something that we are helpless toward, we start THINKING like a victim. 

• And we know that when we THINK like a victim, we FEEL like a victim. 

• When we FEEL like a victim, we ACT like a victim. 

• And when we ACT like a victim, we get RESULTS that prove to us that we are indeed...a victim. 

This often sounds like goals driven by the things you can’t fix-”this will be the year that I finally lose the 20 pounds. My work schedule is really weird, so I can’t eat at normal times and gained weight because of it.”

And I hear it all the time-it’s one of the biggest driving forces in how we create goals…and how we explain not achieving them.

Toxic goal mindset 2 | Ego-mind

The second and MOST powerful mindset driving our goals is the ego-mind. The ego mind is simply our brain’s safety mechanism. It’s job is to protect us from risks. But it does so in subtle, tricky ways. 

It is the “mean girl” voice inside our heads, worried about appearances and reputation. It’s obsessed with fitting in and being accepted. It makes arbitrary rules in an effort to control you (keep you safe). And if you REALLY don’t listen to it, it usually gets mean, telling you you’re not good enough, you “should be” doing (X,Y, or Z), etc. 

The ego is like a big, slobbery, Jaba the Hut in our minds. Revolting to see, but reveling in its ability to get what it wants by being mean to you or creating arbitrary rules you can never live by.

Instead of creating victim based, ego-driven goals, I want to offer you the opportunity to choose an upgraded mindset. 

The 2 mindsets behind abundant goals

The two mindsets that create actual lasting change are: 

Abundant goal mindset 1 | Self-Love & compassion

Self love and compassion looks like accepting yourself for who you are without judgment. (did you feel your body just pause, then relax? That’s a sign of acceptance!) It’s making goals with no intention of CHANGING yourself, but instead, accepting and improving yourself. We’re made to desire excellence. We’re made to yearn for more. But when we try to change ourselves by using goals? We’re just living in self-hatred and ego-mind instead of love and acceptance.

Self-love is also compassion for your wounds-the anger you’ve held against yourself, the impossible standards you’ve held yourself to and ideals that you don’t even value. It’s not just accepting that you’ve lived that way, it’s also feeling compassion that those actions reflect that you’re operating from a wounded state.

Abundant goal mindset 2 | Radical personal responsibility

This is the idea of detaching your identity from your circumstances-stop making everything MEAN something about you and your potential! Let it exist and take responsibility for how you think about it. That’s the only thing that is ours to foster and grow-our thoughts about our circumstances.

Taking radical personal responsibility is a commitment not to changing yourself, but to showing UP for yourself. It’s a commitment to pursuing excellence through your daily actions.

Radical personal responsibility involves first accepting WHY you want what you want. Then realizing you’re the best one (and only one) to give that to yourself.

It’s understanding that if you want that ideal version of you, you have to get up out of your seat and go do it yourself. It’s scary to realize that no one is coming to save you-but it’s even better to realize that you never needed saving in the first place.

It’s in taking responsibility for what HASN’T worked for you and why it hasn’t and then creating solutions that are better suited to where you’re at now.

If you’re wanting to start taking radical personal responsibility, you must stop playing the blame game. Whether it’s algorithms, ghosting, or why you ate what you ate, blaming it on something you can’t control is leaving you powerless.

The first step to radical personal responsibility ISN’T a big pep talk, hyping yourself up to follow through on your goals. Instead, it’s observing your thoughts without judgment. Just like you’d observe a lion at the zoo. Seeing the thoughts come into your head and observing how they make you feel.

That’s the first step.

Want more steps for radical personal responsibility?

Here’s the difference between toxic and abundant goals:

Now that we’ve done a deep dive on the mindsets driving our toxic or abundant goals, what do toxic and abundant goals look and feel like in action? We want to be able to spot them in the wild, so here’s a breakdown for you to start filtering your own goals when they pop into your head in the target self-check when you think “oh my word, I need to lost 20 lbs. And here I am buying Spicy Cheddar cheese puffs again. Oh well…at least they’re the gluten free kind…But seriously on that 20 lbs. I’m for real this time.” (toxic thinking, if you didn’t pick up on that already!)