How to heal your consistency issues | Bay Area mindset coach

A client recently dropped this gem of a question in a Q&A:

I think my biggest questions are HOW do I leave that scarcity mindset - specifically around my health. I find that I always go all in, do awesome for 2 days, then make a misstep and throw in the towel. I find that pattern repeat in many areas of life and I don’t know how to stop the cycle. I just want a consistent, balanced, maintained practice.

If you’ve ever struggled with being consistent, showing up for yourself all the way through until you’ve crossed the finish line, and you feel discouraged even thinking of starting something new-especially when that new thing involves improving yourself in some way, tune in to this video. It’s a good one.

My old “self-improvement” strategy | self-abandonment

A few years ago, I would have named consistency one of my worst weaknesses. It was embarrassing to me and something I felt deep shame around. For me the cycle went a lot like this:

1. Learn something new

2. Have a breakthrough about this new knowledge as it relates to me

3. Envision how it would feel to change

4. Get all worked up and excited to make a change

5. Commit

6. Immediate self-doubt

7. half-hearted try at this new commitment

8. Mess up

9. Give up

That’s it. That was my self-improvement strategy for decades of my life-since I was a small girl.

My new self improvement strategy | personal excellence

Now, however? I can’t imagine not seeing something I’ve committed to all the way through. I can’t imagine abandoning a launch even though the response to it isn’t great. I can’t imagine starting a journaling practice commitment and not seeing it all the way through. Why? Because I’ve healed the real problem.

For me, it was never about a lack of follow through, it was really me being at war with myself and abandoning myself.

When I healed my need to abandon myself when I doubted my capabilities, follow through became a natural by-product of my commitment to me.

Leading from a place of personal excellence is my life’s vision: I choose to be a better human every day and only use my own data to inform my progress. I don’t compare myself to others, I don’t wish I were different, and I no longer check out when I’m having a hard time.

Now, one of the things I’m most proud of is that I can be present with myself when things feel hard, overwhelming, scary, or painful. I’ve got my own back.

This is the greatest gift I’ve ever given to myself.

Enjoy today’s video and comment to let me know if my story or this coaching snippet resonates with you. I hope it does.

Much love to you today.

Video | Consistency doesn’t make you worthy of your dreams.

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What you resist persists

A few months ago I was getting into a really great diet routine, I was working out regularly and just feeling really good. This change and effort was coming from a place aligned with my identity, (where we always create lasting change).

I was so excited, and then I got sick, and not just me, our whole family. My 12 month old son was up in the middle of the night throwing up and it was just terrible. We were all really weak, sick, and tired. The sad thing is that we didn’t only get sick the one time. We got sick the first time, got a little break just in time to have my son’s birthday party. We made the mistake of having 18 people stay with us and then we were sick all over again.

While I was in the process of getting over my stomach bug the second time, I found myself getting discouraged. I was discouraged because I was thinking about all of the things that I was excited for in my health, and my business. As I was laying in bed recovering, trying so hard not to throw up the cracker that I just ate, I thought of something interesting. What you resist persists.

How do we resist?

What I mean by that is the more we hold things at arm’s length and try to hold things off, the more those things persist in our lives. Now what we may not be thinking of is the fact that when we resist things we’re avoiding them. We are doing our best to keep them away from us. There are things in our lives that we hold at bay, whether it is some kind of outcome, social situation, money situation, or really anything.

What we do not realize is that we are using a whole lot of effort to hold that thing off. So, for example let's say that we want to hold off debt in our lives. What are we actually focusing on? We are focused on the debt itself. We do not focus on the abundance in our life right now. Right?

What I found in my season of illness and our household getting sick over and over again is that the more I thought about how sick I was and that I didn’t have time for this, the longer that sickness persisted. I kept thinking to myself how awful this season of life was that we were going through, I became frustrated because I wasn’t feeling better as quickly as I thought I should. The more I focused on that, the longer the sickness went on. I am not saying that it went on only because I was focused on that, but just keep in mind the reality that what we resist persists.

What resisting looks like

These are a few examples of things that I used to do in regards to resisting. In another business of mine I spent a year where I was focused on getting reviews for that business. I saw another business owner doing it and I felt like I needed to get really good reviews also. But I also thought I can’t get any bad reviews and I inwardly begged that nobody would leave me a bad review. I kept focusing on creating this resistance, like I was holding the door closed on someone who is trying to get in. That is what resistance feels like.

During that year I was so focused on not getting any bad reviews, which created resistance. I was trying so hard to hold off the bad reviews on our 6-7 year old business. As I look back, can you guess which year we did get one bad review? Your right! It was the year that I placed all my energy and focus on the very thing that I didn’t want.

Resistance can also feel like driving a car. You have a foot on the gas, but you also have your emergency brake on. You can still drive your car with the emergency brake on, but it is really difficult and will eventually severely damage your car.

Take a look at yourself

I want to encourage you to take a look at your life and see if there is something that you can easily identify that you are avoiding. Something that you are kind of trying to keep out by holding the door closed as it tries to push its way in. Like an annoying little brother who would be trying to get into a room and I would be fighting and holding the door closed because he was annoying me. If you have something like that in your life, it isn’t necessarily bad news for you, but you should know that it is really just going to keep coming up for you.

Putting all of that time and effort into focusing on holding the door closed means that all of your strength and energy is invested into the very thing that you do not want. This means that you are probably going to still end up getting the result that you don’t really want.

You may be asking now, how do we change that? Here are a few quick tips for you that can help:

Tip Number 1

Start visualizing what you do want instead of what you do not want.

Stay focused on what you want, and do not allow yourself to get distracted by the things that you don’t want.

Tip Number 2

Check on your support system.

Do you have a support system? Does your support system understand how lonely entrepreneurship can be? Does your support system see how sometimes you are sitting in a room all by yourself? How your doing things against all the obstacles that come up, how you are taking risks, and how money can be scary and you may not know when your paycheck is going to come in, or even how it is going to come in? Do they get it? If they don’t, look for a support system that specifically understands the unique and difficult challenges of entrepreneurship.

Tip Number 3

Get out your journal.

You may be thinking, “Oh my word, another journaling person.” No, journaling scientifically does things in our brains that moves out beliefs from one portion of our brain to the other and then out. This is not a one and done situation, you have to be regularly writing out your thoughts. Our limiting beliefs, and our negative thoughts don’t have to just stay inside of our brains. We can take action and move them out by writing.

Rewiring for success

I often take my clients through a four week process where we spend time rewiring our brains for success. Because the reality of all of this is that our brains are designed to keep us safe, and to keep us away from danger. Being entrepreneurs is hard on our brains because most of the things that we need to act on to succeed are way outside of our brains comfort zone.

We have so many responsibilities, we are the ones who work out our taxes and our business expenses. We are the ones who have to constantly be innovating. If we don’t innovate, no one else will, if we don’t innovate no one disapproves. But most importantly, if we do not innovate, our business dies.

All of that brings me to the point that I am really trying to focus on. You need to shift some things in order to stop all of the resisting in your life. My point is that what you resist persists, so if we stop resisting all of the things in our lives, then we naturally have to create a state of allowing. This is the place that caused me to feel a little uncomfortable. For me it was simply that I was sick and I would stay that way for a little while, until both I and my body as a whole was feeling better.

Instead of holding off, or feeling depressed or angry, what if we just sat with our feelings for a little while? What would that ultimately change? What space would that blow open inside of your heart? What creativity might start flowing? This conversation is so important to have with yourself.

For me this conversation looks a little like this. Yes I am sick. But instead of resisting that because it keeps persisting, I am going to accept it and allow it and recognize that I am still okay if nothing changes as quickly as I would like.

I am seeing alot of people right now focusing on change and strategy in their businesses. I am seeing articles like - Three quick tips that you do to market your business , or Three ways that you can create passive income. But you know the reality is that none of those things matter. If your brain is hardwired for failure, if it is hardwired to keep you limited and safe, you are going to be failing. All of those skills and strategies are like putting a bandaid on a wound that requires surgery. Does that method make any sense? No. What first needs to happen is you need to rewrite your beliefs, and rewire your brains.

Our brains filtration system

Our brains have something inside them called the Reticular Activating System. This is essentially our filter system. The world around causes us to receive way too much data into our brain at any one time, so our brains are made with a filter system. How our brains filter that data is based on what we believe. Our brains will look at what we believe - which is thought plus emotion repeated over and over and over again. Then our brains will take that and say, “I’ll just automate that belief and I’ll bring in everything that lines up with that belief and I will filter out anything that doesn’t.”

We spend so much of our time using our brains in their default setting, when our brains are meant to be our operating system that we program with our specifications, what we need. I believe that God has given us these beautiful brains and we don’t even invest any time in learning how to use them. All too often we let the outside circumstances dictate how we feel. However we need to remember that we create change from the inside out, like we are the thermostat. We set the temperature and it stays at that temperature no matter what the temperature is outside. We should be like a thermostat, not going up or down depending on the temperature that is around us. We set the temperature because we are working from the inside out.

Two important things to remember as you are developing your mindset in our business, or even if you are going through something in your life. What you resist persists, and Set the temperature for your own success. Don’t forget what can happen if you simply sit in the moment with your circumstances and embrace where you are at. You will not be disappointed with the results.

Am I upper limiting? How I recognized and overcame an upper limit

I'm learning that I'm my own worst enemy. I want success...but I'm starting to see that I'm often the only thing standing in my way. I saw that SO clearly yesterday while performing!

Recognizing my upper limit problem

I began doing vocal performance for events when I was 14 years old. I was an awkward teenager in a new school and assumed a lot of pressure on myself. I mentioned it here, but I had a habit of choking (literally) during my actual performances. I'd swallow a note (like...I'd totally make a "GLUG!" sound. Oh my word.) in EVERY song at about the 2/3 mark. I'd get sick before every performance-wake up with a cold, sore throat, sometimes a sinus infection, definitely lots of snot happenin'. I was pretty sure I couldn't sing...and I always pulled through, just not at my best. 

I started noticing this pattern develop in other areas of my life. Anytime I was faced with the decision to step forward, be seen, or be in a place to be critiqued publicly, I'd choke. This past fall, I tested an idea of launching a live event. Every time I was ready to actually tell the world "I'm doing this! Come to my event!" I'd wake up the day of the scheduled action with a nasty cold. 

At first I thought it was a coincidence, but then I started wondering if it was a form of self-sabotage! Who knows? It sounded so crazy to me, but I I figured it was worth knowing how I was standing in my own way. 

Learning about upper limits

I started reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and within a few pages, I had a pretty clear picture of my self sabotage. From getting physically sick EVERY time I needed to step into the spotlight to messing up during my performance...every time, I saw that I just couldn't handle the level of success I was aiming for. My brain sensed the dissonance and tried to take one for the team and keep me safe. 

Breaking my upper limit

But I'm not staying safe this year. I'm moving fast and breaking things. I'm testing ideas, learning, making mistakes, and growing. So, this past sunday I began my first upper limit problem test!

I was scheduled to lead worship at my church and as I got there, my nerves set in. I felt the mucus building up in my throat and blocking my voice. I felt my throat tightening to the point that no sound would come out. And all of a sudden, I had a case of dry mouth like nothing I've ever experienced. I literally couldn't shape words. Images of past failures flooded my mind. Times when I completely FORGOT the words to our national anthem in a stadium filled with people, when my voice cracked on the big note, the countless times I choked on a noted and made that ridiculous "GLUG!" sound right into the mic. I could taste the hot lemon water I'd down, hoping it would stop my incessant throat clearing. 

Visualizing my ideal state 

And then I stopped listening to myself. I decided that I'm the thinker of my thoughts and it was time to choose a positive thought. As I sat on the hard stool under the spotlights, doing sound checks, I coached myself and it sounded like this: 
"hey! It's okay to feel scared! Everyone here loves you though. There's no pressure. Think of one time you sang your lungs out and felt no stress. You sang and you loved it. There was no pressure. Just singing."

And soon enough, I could see myself worshiping in church, singing, my mind lighting up with ideas for new sounds. My hands raised in heartfelt worship, tears streaming down my face. There was no pressure, there was only love and earnest, heartfelt singing. 

"there you go. Negative thoughts are easy. This year's not for easy, it's for breaking things. Focus on that thought. Only that thought. No pressure, no one telling you what not to do. Just sing."

And I sang. The sound that came out during sound checks was quite frankly awful. I squawked a flat few bars into the mic and immediately apologized to everyone, scratching my neck furiously and feeling so ashamed. 

"You know, it doesn't have to be this way, Steph. You can choose not to stay here. You can break the limit. You can JUST enjoy singing. You can be real and let it go. You don't need to clear your throat first. You're fine. Just sing."

And I tried again. I was a little surprised to hear a voice that had so little stress in it. I was used to covering my stress by manipulating and forcing the sound of my voice. But this sound rang out true and clear! I actually startled myself, then I tried again.

Taking the big leap

"There you go! Now, leap. You can have more. You can have better. You have something to say. Don't wait. Don't ask permission. Just sing. Invite people in."

And I did. Everytime I felt the panic rise, I pictured myself in that ideal state, singing with abandon and joy. I sang. I smiled. I shared important things with people I loved. 

And I made the leap.

Have you ever experienced an upper limit problem in your life? Comment below: what are the signs that you're reaching your upper limit in an area? Do you get sick? Pick a fight with someone you're perfectly happy with? start thinking negative thoughts in an otherwise peaceful situation? Create a problem?

My favorite mindset books of all time! Part 1

I have a few books I go back to again and again-for myself and for my clients! And whether you read them or listen to them, you’ll get so much value! So, I’m sharing my top recommendations for books to help you change your mindset in a few VERY important areas. Let’s go!

*this post contains purchase links, but no affiliate links. I am not making a commission off of my recommendations :)

Growth Mindset Books

Mindset by Carol Dweck

My all time favorite mindset book, and the one that began my personal growth journey is Mindset by Carol Dweck. This is one of the most well known bodies of research on the topic of a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset and it shattered the way I used to see myself, my achievements, my potential, and my life. Since reading this book, I’ve continually challenged myself to practice a growth mindset, challenge any limitation, and pursue curiosity.

Grit by Angela Duckworth

I feel so emotional even recommending this book and here’s why:

My husband read it before I had begun my personal growth journey. He would read parts of it to me and ask me if I could envision behaving in a “grit” way. I would get so upset and rant about how that was “so unrealistic-not everyone is meant to be that way.”

What I didn’t know was that 5 years later, I’d revisit this book up out of curiosity and my husband would reread to me the characteristics of a person with grit. Now, I felt this warm certainty in my belly and said the words “I can’t imagine ever giving up on my dream.”

What I really can’t believe is the transformation I created between the time I literally whined and cried about the idea of having “grit” and saying the words “I can’t imagine giving up on my dream.”

I’ve changed and this book helped me easily see that!

Books on Limiting beliefs

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

The Big Leap is a book that everyone has some kind of a lightbulb moment around. If you want to identify your biggest themes in your limiting beliefs and you want to change the way you approach the work you do so you begin to see rapid results, The Big Leap is a FABULOUS read or listen. I cannot recommend this book enough. In fact, for a long time, I required my private clients to read Mindset and The Big Leap before we began private mentorship together. This was my coaching “starter kit” so to speak.

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

I don’t know if it’s her self-deprecating sense of humor, her dramatic sense of voice (which I relate to so much!) or how simple she makes limiting beliefs and manifestation, but this book is such a fun read for overcoming limiting beliefs and manifesting a life you love!

Money Mindset Books

Rich As F*ck by Amanda Frances

I bought this book and I’ll admit-I was a bit scandalized by the title. I mean…I don’t use the F-word so…how do I recommend a book I can’t really say the title of? Oh the stress....

I’m glad I got over that overthinking moment though because this book was exactly what I needed! I’ve read the old money mindset standards by Napolean Hill and Wallace Wattles, but I personally was bored and tired of hearing from privileged white men from a century ago. Enter Amanda. While still white, she’s a woman and multi-millionaire in my industry. And as I read her book, I began seeing solutions to money moves I’d previously felt intimidated by. She talks about not waiting for a man to do the money work and that was one of my biggest takeaways. By the end of the book, I’d open investment accounts I’d previously felt stuck even starting. And I feel confident that I can take care of myself and my future, no matter if my husband plays a role in it.

Could there be anything more powerful than standing on your own two feet financially?

I have another post coming up with my favorite books on the topics of energy, success, and coaching-you’ll want to come back for that read!

Enroll in my newsletter to be notified when i release new blog content by signing up here:

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Coaching Session Riff: What if you're the only one holding you back?

I have a treat for you!

In a recent live coaching call, I challenged our group to name a dream they were actively bringing to life and then think of ways they could live as if it were real now.

From moving to Thailand and trips to Italy to al fresco dinner parties and girls weekends, the dreams came rolling out with momentum.

Suddenly I asked one of my students “what’s stopping you from creating your dream scenario now?”

She stopped for a moment and quietly replied “I’m realizing…nothing!”

And this vdeo is what I shared afterward.

After I shared this content, the group began cheering and encouraged me to somehow capture this for others.

We all knew this message was important and so I’m sharing it with you today in this brief 2 minute coaching session snippet.

If you felt inspired or motivated from this video, I’d love for you to leave me a comment sharing how this spoke to you.

You can fly-you just didn’t know you had wings.

I love you,

Stephanie

Video shared with permission from Magnetic Minds Alumnus, Pam, who makes an appearance.

What is The Ripple Effect?

The Ripple Effect Mastermind is a program I designed specifically for the one who is ready to create inner and outer wealth. In this unique, hybrid program, I walk you through the emotions and energetic tools my clients and I have used to create a no-trade-offs life.

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How to let go of regret and collapse time to your results

In today’s video, I’m sharing my personal philosophy that has helped me let go of regret and collapse time to my desired results. This is a really special topic to me personally and will especially resonate with you if you’ve struggled with self-doubt, self-sabotage, a fixed mindset, and you struggle to love yourself.

A growth mindset lets go of regret and gets results faster and faster.

This mindset that I discuss in this post is a growth mindset. A growth mindset is one that learns to let go of old paradigms of failure where our past experiences are wasted when we can’t see an immediate success, and instead learn to see every life experience as a learning and growth experience. This includes growth in learning to love and approve of ourselves, first and foremost!

In today’s video, we’re talking through:

• My story with regret and results (hint: regret IS the result)

• My personal operating agreements

• How that helped me collapse time to my results

• How this works for other people.

• Setting goals that are aligned and help you build momentum

• Collapsing time to your results

• How to hook future-you up with how you think, feel, and act now.

• Your quantum leap simply depends on your willingness to keep going

• Your future thoughts about how you’re showing up now will reflect how you think now about your past.

• Self-source your love and admiration and excellence.

For your convenience, I’ve linked below available opportunities to work with me mentioned in the video. If it’s aligned for you, take a next step here:

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How to eliminate overwhelm [VIDEO]

What the grocery store understands about overwhelm

The other day, I got a seed catalog in the mail-I love landscaping and planned on making a cut-flower garden this year. So when my seed catalogs arrived, I was so excited!

But as I quickly flipped past the pages of vegetables, I stopped for a moment on the page with carrots.

HOW ARE THERE SO MANY CARROTS??

I looked at pages on pages of carrots thinking “wow…I mainly look for orange and then choose whole or baby.”

The grocery store is the perfect examply of our mind’s filing system. And the people who develop a store’s offerings and layout learned a long time ago that if they break apart a category into too many sub-categories, customers will get overwhelmed, be unsuccessful in completing their task and have a negative brand experience.

Let’s talk about this a bit more:

What is overwhelm, exactly?

It’s our mind’s way of protecting us when we step outside of our comfort zones. When our unconscious mind observes that we’re doing new things, it may use overwhelm as a trigger to get us safely back into our comfort zone. Even if your comfort zone is self-sabotage or disappointment in yourself. 

Remember, your comfort zone is about what’s familiar to you...not, ironically, what’s comfortable 

The structure of overwhelm

Overwhelm has a structure to it and learning the structure of overwhelm helps us eliminate it. From an NLP perspective, Overwhelm is a result of either chunking down too far into too much detail or chunking up too high into too big of a picture. 

When we chunk up or down too far, we then take the energy we’d apply to a next step and we apply it to either the ENTIRE huge project (chunked up overwhelm) or to every single detail (chunked down overwhelm), making us feel like we need 10 times the energy we have available. 

This creates a sense of emotional overload or...overwhelm and we often end up giving up and shuffling ourselves back to our comfort zones.

How to hack your unconscious filing system to eliminate overwhelm:

So, let’s follow the grocery story idea and use that to help us eliminate overwhelm.

Step 1: identify the structure

Is your overwhelm from thinking too big or too detailed?

step 2: Chunk your thoughts in the opposite direction

If you’re overwhelmed because you’re thinking in too much detail and you need to create a sense of agreement or harmony in your mind, you’ll want to chunk up and you can use the questions: 

Questions to help you chunk UP

• What is this an example of? 

• For what purpose? 

• What is your/my intention…

Questions to help you chunk DOWN

If your overwhelm is due to having TOO big of a picture and you need to create some details or distinctions for your tasks to feel feasible, you can chunk down using these questions:

“What are examples of this…”
“What specifically?”

So, let’s apply this to 2 common instances:

Eliminating To-Do list overwhelm by chunking UP

Much like going to the grocery store to buy carrots and seeing 16 different kinds of carrots, looking at your to-do list and applying your energy to each item on your list creates...OVERWHELM!

So, Don’t look at your to-do list and apply energy to each item, but instead use this question to bring your energy up a level:
“What is this (my to-do list) an example of?”

A to-do list may be an example of: 

• A workday

• Hard work

• Productivity

• Dedication

Or something else in your mind. Pick the category that best describes what a to-do list is an example of for you and apply your energy to THAT. 

Chunk up until you feel the overwhelm is gone.

So, instead of applying all your energy to each item in your to-do list, you can apply it to pursuing your soul’s purpose, then apply it to today’s work, then down to the to-do list items. It should feel more like a trickle down effect instead of a tidal wave. 

Eliminate goal overwhelm by chunking down

Let’s say you have a money goal you’ve set for yourself. If you feel overwhelmed at the entire goal and think “oh my gosh, this is too big-I don’t know how I can do this!” Then eliminating that feeling of overwhelm will actually come from chunking down.

So, if your goal is to make a million dollars in a year, chunking down to bi-annual, quarterly, monthly, weekly, or even daily amounts may help you find an amount of money that feels like a goal you can aim for. 

Bonus tip: choose that amount you feel good about-for the sake of illustration, let’s say the monthly breakdown of a million dollar year, which is roughly $84,000. Make the money until you’ve made the full $84k, then challenge yourself to make that amount of money in less time.

Maybe it takes you 6 months to make $84k. Once you’ve established that it takes you 6 months, challenge yourself to do it in 5. Continue collapsing the time until you accomplish your goal of making $84k in one month!

Then…repeat it!

What do you think? Does this help you eliminate overwhelm in your life?

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How I break through limiting beliefs | the 5 phases of a breakthrough

The breakthrough cycle

I teach that all personal and professional growth follows a natural pattern-plants follow this growth pattern and humans do as well. I call it the Breakthrough cycle. Just like a plant was never meant to stay a seed, we were never meant to remain in our comfort zones. So…what happens next?

I recently had an amazing breakthrough around setting goals and believing my goals were “big” or “difficult”.

I went through each of these steps and along the way, I felt so reassured and confident because I knew what was coming. I knew that good things were already on their way to me.

The comfort zone

This is the place, not of comfort, but of familiarity. Even if what’s familiar is pain, poor treatment, disappointment, self-abandonment, frustration, and feeling judged or overlooked. Until we recognize that we get who we are, we can’t really change our results.

And when we decide we want something we’ve never had before, we step outside of our comfort zone and into:

The tension phase

During the tension phase, any limiting belief or block we are holding that prevents us from being successful will come up for us to deal with. For people unaware of the Breakthrough Cycle, they get wrapped up in the drama of it all, putting out fires and feeling frustrated and stressed with life.

We don’t need to have a tension buildup before a breakthrough- I think it’s important to clarify this. Tension ONLY builds when we hold limiting beliefs that conflict with our ability to accomplish our goals or have our dream. Focusing on our dream or goal inherently means that our unconscious mind releases to our awareness anything that prevents us from having it.

The problem is that most of us don’t know this and buy into it. Which leads to a breakdown.

But…if you’re like me and understand what’s happening, you learn to just observe how you’re showing up during the tension phase. Are you showing up with frustration, comparison, self-judgment, and more? How you be now is what you get back later.

Or…as the tension builds, are you loving yourself and others? Are you trusting that everything is unfolding for you, not happening to you? Are you smiling inside, knowing that no matter the external troubles, you know in the pit of your stomach that something good is about to unfold.

The decision point-breakdown or breakthrough?

When our mind is done providing us with our limiting beliefs on a platter, we are left with a decision. We can break down? or Breakthrough?

And every moment we spend judging, doubting, comparing, regretting, hesitating, and more, ensures that we break down instead of breakthrough.

But ever moment that we choose to see the good, we choose to focus our thoughts toward what we want, we celebrate our lives, we choose love and compassion , we are then choosing a breakthrough.

And I think it’s important to say this (this stuck with me after one of my mentors shared this):

You don’t NEED to have a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough…but if you’re going to break down…you might as well break through, right?

So, what is a breakthrough?

A breakthrough is a sudden realization that provides us with clarity, direction, and momentum toward our desired life. It’s that “a-ha!!” moment, the glass-house shattering, the light-bulb clicking on, the sudden awareness where you’ll never see your life and choices the same way again. And deep inside, this “new” realization is not new-it’s truth that you’re remembering after years of smothering it with limitations.

Why do we need breakthroughs?

Breakthroughs change the way we act! Now that we understand things differently, we feel differently-hopeful, an inner knowing in our tummies, curious.

Once we feel differently, we start acting differently. Our actions are fueled by possibility instead of predictability. We act from the place of already having the thing we want-this perspective and the feelings it brings up for us naturally lead us to choose different actions than we would have before a breakthrough.

Now, instead of splattering things against a wall to see what sticks, you’re showing up from the energy of “I do all I can with all I have and I know the universe will meet me with like force.”

And that’s when your results truly change.

When I had a breakthrough around viewing my goals as small rather than big and difficult, I made my goal! I created a $25k month and couldn’t be prouder!

So, is breaking through limiting beliefs worth it?

Absolutely. (see above-confidence, and a $25k month.)

Does it get results?

It’s the ONLY thing that really does get results. It was never force applied. It was the thoughts that created the force…applied in the right direction.

So, next time you feel the tension building, I want you to remember this;

what if the tension in your life right now is just a sign that good things are coming? ⁠⁠

What do you think? Have you experienced the Breakthrough Cycle in your life? I’d love to hear about it-comment below and share:

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Ready to breakthrough your own limiting beliefs? Here’s how The Breakthrough Method can help you wherever you are at in your mindset journey:

Blindspot Breakthrough coaching

My short-term transformational coaching to help you eradicate the 4 biggest money blocks deep in your unconscious mind. Perfect for people who are done doubting themselves and burning out, and ready to become magnetic to money.

Private Breakthrough Mentorship

A 4 month coaching commitment for the entrepreneur who’s been having some breakthroughs and is ready to integrate everything she’s learned, operating from her new empowered truths instead of limiting beliefs. Includes all the transformational unconscious mind work to help you release any blocks. Also includes immediate access to Magnetic Minds, Fresh Start, and Jumpstart

Making impossible goals easy | My 2020 lessons part 1

I recently shared my process for closing out a year in my business-one of the pieces of that process is writing down all the things I learned this year.

After I did this, I felt incredibly grateful for these huge, soul-shifting lessons and wanted to share them with you. So here I am, sharing my real, unfiltered lessons from one of the most stretching years I’ve ever lived:

I’m in the middle of moving from one software platform to another and in the process, I spent some time reviewing and saving my content.

Some 2020 numbers that surprised me…big time.

I knew I had gone into MASSIVE creation mode this year…MASSIVE. but it hadn’t fully clicked until I added these numbers up:

8 programs. EIGHT. Guys. EIGHT PROGRAMS IN ONE YEAR.

See the programs here

5 completely unique free content events-webinars, 3-5 day workshops, hours and hours of content and value, completely free.

and this was the ringer for me: nearly 200 pages of unique email content just this year

I haven’t even capture how many pages I’ve written in the form of instagram content, but I full believe it’s probably close to 300 pages.

300 pages.

Not including infographics, stories, and more that I personally designed, sales pages I wrote and designed and more.

and yet, if you asked me if I believed I could write a book…I would have said no. Why? I don’t know if I could talk about one thing, build it out, AND still be interesting for 200ish pages. And if I did, gosh, it would take years of grueling labor, forcing myself to write, writers block, etc.

Lesson #1: Make impossible goals feel easy by reframing them.

But I wrote nearly 300 pages of unique content. I wrote it easily. I still have LOADS more to say on the topic of mindset being the absolute KEY to our success. And yet…it was easy.

What if that’s the way it was meant to be? Choosing the path of least resistance? finding our Personal strategy for massive creativity? And letting it all come easily?

If I learned anything in 2020, it’s that reframing something can make all the difference in my motivation.

Can I write a 300 page book? maybe. Do I want to? no. That sounds the opposite of fun to me, are you kidding?

Can I write 1 email and be passionate and excited about it? yes. for 100% sure.

And one yes led to the next…and the next.

What if we stopped building our goals up into some unattainable mountaintop experience and learned to reframe them into the next steps that truly motivate us?

What if we committed to 1-2 pages of passionate writing instead of a book? What if we committed ourselves to believing in our own offers wholeheartedly for 1 full day instead of until we hit our money goals? (that’s a long time to believe…and most of us don’t have that much stamina…if we’re being honest.)

What if we believed in ourselves the whole time we took action toward our goals?

And what if, at the end of it…we saw that all the stress, freaking out, and self-doubt didn’t need to happen in order for us to achieve our goals-we added that on by choice.

What if in 2021, you decide you’re worthy of the goals you desire and you decide to take them step by step? What would change for you?

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If you’re ready to learn how to write goals differently in 2021, join Fresh Start, where I’ll walk you through 6 techniques I use to create a strong, aligned foundation for each year, and then I’ll show you how I set goals using NLP. Comes with a workbook and 2 modules