How to heal your consistency issues | Bay Area mindset coach

A client recently dropped this gem of a question in a Q&A:

I think my biggest questions are HOW do I leave that scarcity mindset - specifically around my health. I find that I always go all in, do awesome for 2 days, then make a misstep and throw in the towel. I find that pattern repeat in many areas of life and I don’t know how to stop the cycle. I just want a consistent, balanced, maintained practice.

If you’ve ever struggled with being consistent, showing up for yourself all the way through until you’ve crossed the finish line, and you feel discouraged even thinking of starting something new-especially when that new thing involves improving yourself in some way, tune in to this video. It’s a good one.

My old “self-improvement” strategy | self-abandonment

A few years ago, I would have named consistency one of my worst weaknesses. It was embarrassing to me and something I felt deep shame around. For me the cycle went a lot like this:

1. Learn something new

2. Have a breakthrough about this new knowledge as it relates to me

3. Envision how it would feel to change

4. Get all worked up and excited to make a change

5. Commit

6. Immediate self-doubt

7. half-hearted try at this new commitment

8. Mess up

9. Give up

That’s it. That was my self-improvement strategy for decades of my life-since I was a small girl.

My new self improvement strategy | personal excellence

Now, however? I can’t imagine not seeing something I’ve committed to all the way through. I can’t imagine abandoning a launch even though the response to it isn’t great. I can’t imagine starting a journaling practice commitment and not seeing it all the way through. Why? Because I’ve healed the real problem.

For me, it was never about a lack of follow through, it was really me being at war with myself and abandoning myself.

When I healed my need to abandon myself when I doubted my capabilities, follow through became a natural by-product of my commitment to me.

Leading from a place of personal excellence is my life’s vision: I choose to be a better human every day and only use my own data to inform my progress. I don’t compare myself to others, I don’t wish I were different, and I no longer check out when I’m having a hard time.

Now, one of the things I’m most proud of is that I can be present with myself when things feel hard, overwhelming, scary, or painful. I’ve got my own back.

This is the greatest gift I’ve ever given to myself.

Enjoy today’s video and comment to let me know if my story or this coaching snippet resonates with you. I hope it does.

Much love to you today.

Video | Consistency doesn’t make you worthy of your dreams.

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The difference between hustle and hard work

I remember hearing a well-known coach talk about building her business to a million dollars a year. Of course, I was ALL ears! How did she do it? I want to do that too!

While she shared her insider secrets, she often used the word hustle, like this: “you’ve got to hustle to make the money.” or “it takes hustle to grow your business.”

I immediately pictured high school volleyball practice doing shuffle squats across the court as my coach yelled “hustle hustle hustle!” I was doing meaningful work that prepared me to be agile on the court…but when my coach yelled hustle, what she was communicating was that we needed to go faster.

And that’s the problem-well one of them-with hustle culture. It’s not about the work, it’s about the speed of the work.

Defining the difference between hard work and hustle

In my true 5th grade teacher fashion (I used to teach 5th grade), let’s start by defining the terms.

the reality is that everyone has a unique association to the words hustle and hard work. So, when you say each of these words, what immediately comes to mind?

That’s your mental representation of this word. is it a picture? Mind movie? sound? experience? Some or even all of the above? Mine is a memory in the form of a mind movie-it’s silent, but I can feel the shuffle squats.

Now, here’s how I define these two terms:

Hard work

In physics, there’s a law that goes like this:

Force * Mass = Acceleration

And it can absolutely be used for business growth-it’s essentially the compound effect at work. When you apply yourself to a given outcome through regular, incremental steps, you will succeed.

Hard work is a deeply individual term-everyone has their own specific idea of how much, what type, or how long is “hard work” to them. My belief is that hard work is simply effort. And effort is force APPLIED toward something. We all put in effort and it’s required to run your business. No matter if it's strategy, time, money, or leveraging your network, effort must be applied in order to succeed.

Hard work = effort

now let’s talk hustle

Hustle

When I looked up the terms, hustle gave the idea of being forceful, pushy, or busy. That’s exactly what I thought it might mean!

So let’s think about this for a minute-have you ever been in a sales situation where someone was selling you something in a forceful or coercive way? (I’ve been to my share of MLM “parties,” so yes from me.) Have you ever felt bad and heard yourself saying “yes!” spilling out of your mouth when you actually wanted with every fiber of your being to say “NO”?

I believe that forceful, coercive, pushy element of “hustle culture” is one very simple thing:

We’re saying yes when we mean no. We’re crossing our own boundaries to get what we want.

Change my mind.

But before you do, take a second and think-when you’ve “hustled,” what personal boundaries have you crossed? Have you sat at your computer until you’ve had a headache? Deprived yourself of nutritious food because you’re “in the zone?” Or skipped out on breaks or moving your body because you just had so much to do?

Hydration, nutrition, sleep, and movement are essential human needs-if you find yourself regularly bulldozing past them, minimizing them, or getting frustrating with yourself for needing something, you’re in hustle mode and it’s not good.

We usually decide it’s time to “hustle” when we feel some kind of overwhelm. And we think the solution involves bypassing ourselves to get the results we want.

So, to recap:

• Hard work is NOT hustling.

• Hard work = effort

• Hustling = boundary crossing

I personally believe that we go from effort to hustle when we choose to ignore or even bypass our personal needs in order to accomplish a goal. THAT's the difference.

So, are you ignoring your needs for rest, creativity, socializing?

Are you bypassing simple needs, like hydration, nutrition, and movement?

Are you working until you're in physical pain?

That's not hard work, that's hustle. And it's not sustainable.

So What do you do now?

How to recover from hustle mentality

It’s important to recognize that somewhere along the way, you’ve linked your identity to time or money, resulting in hustle.

So while slowing down is a natural solution to hustle, as you’re slowing down, begin looking into when you linking these things together, why you did, and what you were trying to accomplish.

You may enjoy reading some personal growth books-Check my book recommendations here and here.

You may recognize that you’ve got something bigger going on and you’d like help getting rid of that mental roadblock. I’d recommend setting up a discovery call with me to pinpoint the type of support you’d most benefit from.

And for the one who likes time to review and assess all their options, here are my top 3 recommended programs for you:

$-The Momentum Challenge

this self-lead 5 day challenge helps you identify and break through limiting beliefs as simply as possible so you can build momentum and accomplish your goals.

$$-Magnetic Minds

Self-study success program helping you create goals and success habits, clear your blocks and magnetically manifest what you want.

$$$-Blindspot Breakthrough

Over the course of 4 1:1 sessions together, we are going to pinpoint and rewire your biggest blocks. I will use NLP techniques to release these blocks in your unconscious mind so success begins to feel effortless to you .

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Coaching Session Riff: What if you're the only one holding you back?

I have a treat for you!

In a recent live coaching call, I challenged our group to name a dream they were actively bringing to life and then think of ways they could live as if it were real now.

From moving to Thailand and trips to Italy to al fresco dinner parties and girls weekends, the dreams came rolling out with momentum.

Suddenly I asked one of my students “what’s stopping you from creating your dream scenario now?”

She stopped for a moment and quietly replied “I’m realizing…nothing!”

And this vdeo is what I shared afterward.

After I shared this content, the group began cheering and encouraged me to somehow capture this for others.

We all knew this message was important and so I’m sharing it with you today in this brief 2 minute coaching session snippet.

If you felt inspired or motivated from this video, I’d love for you to leave me a comment sharing how this spoke to you.

You can fly-you just didn’t know you had wings.

I love you,

Stephanie

Video shared with permission from Magnetic Minds Alumnus, Pam, who makes an appearance.

What is The Ripple Effect?

The Ripple Effect Mastermind is a program I designed specifically for the one who is ready to create inner and outer wealth. In this unique, hybrid program, I walk you through the emotions and energetic tools my clients and I have used to create a no-trade-offs life.

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How to get the results you want in business

I’m in the middle of a hair transformation (more info and pics below!) and while styling my newly wavy hair, I realized something important! 

If you’ve ever felt stuck, limited, or like no matter what you learn, you keep recreating the same unwanted results in your business, this video is for you-watch or read on:

My hair story: 

I  used to have thick, fine, straight hair. It was heavy and silky and didn’t really hold a curl. But I tried my darndest to get my slippery hair to hold a curl. I’d curl it, use product and it would look curly...but at the end of the day, my hair was still straight no matter what I did. 

I couldn’t curl my hair and hope I now had “curly hair.”

And then I had a baby. And suddenly I found myself with poufy hair that was wirey and weirdly straight on top and tightly kinked underneath. 

(photos below of my hair before learning to style wavy/curly hair)

I stumbled across the curly girl method and began playing with this approach to hair care and I started seeing results! When I started viewing my hair as curly, I fundamentally changed how I cared for my hair from washing all the way through styling. And I started seeing those kinks turn to curls and waves start forming on my top layer. 

(photos below of my progress using the curly-girl method)

I’m still in the middle of this transformation, but it’s already taught me a few things about business.

What my hair transformation taught me about feeling stuck in business

So often, I talk with business owners who aren’t getting the results they want in business. They’re struggling with things like: 

• Repeated low-income months

• Clients who break contract on them

• Potential clients who ghost them

• People only interested in free content

• being maxed out for time and not able to take on new clients, even though they need to make more money.

• Being afraid to raise their rates because they believe they’ll lose clients.

They’ll even tell me “I know I have a lot of limiting beliefs around money. I see it. I just think that if I learn how to launch my online course and get a little revenue coming in there first, then I can work with you to change my mindset.”

And boy do they come back to work with me alright...just not the way they envisioned...Here’s what really happens.

They take said course or program. They learn how to create and launch their online course, make facebook ads, write better sales copy, market better on instagram, and more. And then I hear from them about 6 months later and they say something like: 

“Hey Stephanie! Remember me?” (of course I do!) “so, I think I’m ready to do mindset work. I know what I want to create (often passive income of some sort), and I learned how to do it. But I feel paralyzed to actually take action. I have all these limiting beliefs around doing this and making money from it and I need to get to the bottom of it.”

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Does this sound like you?

Take the Money Blocks Quiz

and see exactly what’s holding you back from $10k-$20k months

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What’s really happening when we’re not getting the results we want:

I see this so often it’s not funny! And here’s what’s really happening:

Just like it didn’t work to curl my hair and hope it would become curly, you can’t learn a skill and hope it makes you successful. 

Once I had the inner transformation on my hair, I then had clarity to learn the right skills for what I wanted to accomplish-and they were COMPLETELY different skills!

So often, when we skip our own mindset blockages and limiting beliefs, we don’t even have the clarity to learn the right skills. I was learning new ways to use my curling iron and it was damaging my hair. Once i had my curly hair, I saw that I had to treat it as curly hair and learn from people who HAD curly hair.

I started buying different shampoos and products and learning how to style it correctly (hello plopping and low-heat styling!) And the kinks began turning to curls. The wirey hair began turning wavy. I started getting results.

How changing your mindset changes your results

It’s the same with your mindset.

When you know you’ve got some mindset issues holding you back-whether it’s limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, comparison, feeling paralyzed, afraid to be seen, scared to outshine a loved one, and more, you’ll be learning skills from a jaded point of view and you won’t really solve your problem.

On the other hand, if you START with inner transformation, you approach your problem completely differently and you see different solutions and learn different skills.

You can stop throwing money down the drain on programs that don’t move the needle in your business and start fresh.

My personal experience learning about my mindset blocks

You can build true momentum in your business. I know because I’ve done it for myself.

I’ve been where you are. I’ve hired the right people and learned the influential skills. And then I’d stare at my bank account and see that it was far from thriving. 

Last year, I got sick and tired of it and knew it was time for a change. 

I walked myself through a complete mindset overhaul and saw that while I indeed had limiting beliefs...one of my biggest mindset blocks around money wasn’t limiting beliefs at all, but rather an emotional block!

I was shocked!

And as I cleaned up my mindset, rewired my unconscious mind for success, and acted from that place, I went from a $500 month to a $10k month. 

But...could I do it again? Or was it just a fluke? And then I created a $25k month and more multiple 5 figure cash months after that. My income would still fluctuate, but in the high income months, there were a few things that remained the same. 

I had cleared unconscious blocks. I had repatterned my mind for success. And I acted from that place. No more rando desperation hires. No more last-ditch efforts and enrolling in program after program. I felt assured and confident-I felt…aligned! And I ended up actually spending less in my business because I had a clear plan now!

I want this for you. But the undeniable truth is that you must must must start with your mindset, not your skillset.

I’ve created an incredible resource for you if this is describing your experience building your online business. Take my free Money Blocks Quiz and lets figure out what’s REALLY holding you back from the success you desire.

How to let go of regret and collapse time to your results

In today’s video, I’m sharing my personal philosophy that has helped me let go of regret and collapse time to my desired results. This is a really special topic to me personally and will especially resonate with you if you’ve struggled with self-doubt, self-sabotage, a fixed mindset, and you struggle to love yourself.

A growth mindset lets go of regret and gets results faster and faster.

This mindset that I discuss in this post is a growth mindset. A growth mindset is one that learns to let go of old paradigms of failure where our past experiences are wasted when we can’t see an immediate success, and instead learn to see every life experience as a learning and growth experience. This includes growth in learning to love and approve of ourselves, first and foremost!

In today’s video, we’re talking through:

• My story with regret and results (hint: regret IS the result)

• My personal operating agreements

• How that helped me collapse time to my results

• How this works for other people.

• Setting goals that are aligned and help you build momentum

• Collapsing time to your results

• How to hook future-you up with how you think, feel, and act now.

• Your quantum leap simply depends on your willingness to keep going

• Your future thoughts about how you’re showing up now will reflect how you think now about your past.

• Self-source your love and admiration and excellence.

For your convenience, I’ve linked below available opportunities to work with me mentioned in the video. If it’s aligned for you, take a next step here:

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How to eliminate overwhelm [VIDEO]

What the grocery store understands about overwhelm

The other day, I got a seed catalog in the mail-I love landscaping and planned on making a cut-flower garden this year. So when my seed catalogs arrived, I was so excited!

But as I quickly flipped past the pages of vegetables, I stopped for a moment on the page with carrots.

HOW ARE THERE SO MANY CARROTS??

I looked at pages on pages of carrots thinking “wow…I mainly look for orange and then choose whole or baby.”

The grocery store is the perfect examply of our mind’s filing system. And the people who develop a store’s offerings and layout learned a long time ago that if they break apart a category into too many sub-categories, customers will get overwhelmed, be unsuccessful in completing their task and have a negative brand experience.

Let’s talk about this a bit more:

What is overwhelm, exactly?

It’s our mind’s way of protecting us when we step outside of our comfort zones. When our unconscious mind observes that we’re doing new things, it may use overwhelm as a trigger to get us safely back into our comfort zone. Even if your comfort zone is self-sabotage or disappointment in yourself. 

Remember, your comfort zone is about what’s familiar to you...not, ironically, what’s comfortable 

The structure of overwhelm

Overwhelm has a structure to it and learning the structure of overwhelm helps us eliminate it. From an NLP perspective, Overwhelm is a result of either chunking down too far into too much detail or chunking up too high into too big of a picture. 

When we chunk up or down too far, we then take the energy we’d apply to a next step and we apply it to either the ENTIRE huge project (chunked up overwhelm) or to every single detail (chunked down overwhelm), making us feel like we need 10 times the energy we have available. 

This creates a sense of emotional overload or...overwhelm and we often end up giving up and shuffling ourselves back to our comfort zones.

How to hack your unconscious filing system to eliminate overwhelm:

So, let’s follow the grocery story idea and use that to help us eliminate overwhelm.

Step 1: identify the structure

Is your overwhelm from thinking too big or too detailed?

step 2: Chunk your thoughts in the opposite direction

If you’re overwhelmed because you’re thinking in too much detail and you need to create a sense of agreement or harmony in your mind, you’ll want to chunk up and you can use the questions: 

Questions to help you chunk UP

• What is this an example of? 

• For what purpose? 

• What is your/my intention…

Questions to help you chunk DOWN

If your overwhelm is due to having TOO big of a picture and you need to create some details or distinctions for your tasks to feel feasible, you can chunk down using these questions:

“What are examples of this…”
“What specifically?”

So, let’s apply this to 2 common instances:

Eliminating To-Do list overwhelm by chunking UP

Much like going to the grocery store to buy carrots and seeing 16 different kinds of carrots, looking at your to-do list and applying your energy to each item on your list creates...OVERWHELM!

So, Don’t look at your to-do list and apply energy to each item, but instead use this question to bring your energy up a level:
“What is this (my to-do list) an example of?”

A to-do list may be an example of: 

• A workday

• Hard work

• Productivity

• Dedication

Or something else in your mind. Pick the category that best describes what a to-do list is an example of for you and apply your energy to THAT. 

Chunk up until you feel the overwhelm is gone.

So, instead of applying all your energy to each item in your to-do list, you can apply it to pursuing your soul’s purpose, then apply it to today’s work, then down to the to-do list items. It should feel more like a trickle down effect instead of a tidal wave. 

Eliminate goal overwhelm by chunking down

Let’s say you have a money goal you’ve set for yourself. If you feel overwhelmed at the entire goal and think “oh my gosh, this is too big-I don’t know how I can do this!” Then eliminating that feeling of overwhelm will actually come from chunking down.

So, if your goal is to make a million dollars in a year, chunking down to bi-annual, quarterly, monthly, weekly, or even daily amounts may help you find an amount of money that feels like a goal you can aim for. 

Bonus tip: choose that amount you feel good about-for the sake of illustration, let’s say the monthly breakdown of a million dollar year, which is roughly $84,000. Make the money until you’ve made the full $84k, then challenge yourself to make that amount of money in less time.

Maybe it takes you 6 months to make $84k. Once you’ve established that it takes you 6 months, challenge yourself to do it in 5. Continue collapsing the time until you accomplish your goal of making $84k in one month!

Then…repeat it!

What do you think? Does this help you eliminate overwhelm in your life?

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Your dreams aren't too big | What happens when we downgrade our dreams

C.S. Lewis once said:

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

This quote came to my mind recently when I created a monthly money goal and immediately thought “I don’t know if I can do that.”

I doubted myself, believed it would be hard to make THAT much money, and more. Oh, the drama.

Have you been there before?

The quality of your life is determined by the questions you ask yourself

As soon as I saw the mental drama for what it was, I chose to change the questions I was asking myself.

Instead of asking myself “is this even possible? I mean…do you have any proof you can do that this month?”

I asked myself: “how would I feel if I had already accomplished my money goal? It’s done. It’s in the past. How do I feel in this moment?”

I felt pride! I felt like my faith was proven right, even when I had no proof.

And I recognized that operating from the plane of possibility is what it takes to create something you’ve never created before.

As soon as I recognized this mindset shift, I asked myself this powerful question:

When did I decide that my dreams are lofty and unattainable?

Because, what if they aren’t? what if, in all actuality, my dreams are only big and difficult because I can’t imagine more than what I’ve created?

But what if what I’ve created is the equivalent of making mud pies in the streets and the truth is that what’s available to me is the holiday at the sea? Would I understand that my dreams aren’t too big…they’re really too small?

Why do we downgrade our dreams?

We want a 6-figure year…but then we feel the need to justify it. We explain why we want it…going so far as to attach some kind of huge charity endeavor to it to prove that we will still be good people if we make a lot of money.

We want the money…and then immediately feel shame, remembering all the times we tried and failed with a goal.

Changing our point of view to increase our abundance

But what we don’t understand is that there’s another entire universe. It’s here all around us and we’ve been blind.

While we were feeling like $10k months was too much, unnecessary, meant we were selfish, or was just hard to make happen, people all around us illustrated that wealth beyond our comprehension is all around us.

• People driving by you in cars that cost more than you make in a year.

• Someone carrying a handbag that costs more than you make in a month.

• People donating to charity more money than you think you can make in your whole lifetime.

While we’re explaining and justifying away our tiny dreams, the world is moving on, creating income we can even understand.

What if we defined our goals through the lens of infinite abundance instead of scarcity and impossibility

Beyond our finite world of predictable and logical, is the creator of an entire universe, who created mind-blowingly complex, illogically beautiful things….because the creator could. Because the creator of the universe is infinite creativity and unlimited potential.

What if we defined our dreams by a standard of what’s possible…not what’s predictable.

On the other side of the veil we’ve been seeing life through, is an entire world defined by abundance and possibility. A world where there’s no maximum to the amount you can charge or make because there will always be more.

The reality is…our biggest dreams are still a drop in the bucket compared to the limitless abundance, powerful creativity, and overflowing love of God.

So…what if your dream isn’t too big…what if it’s too small.

And…what if it works this time?

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Recommended program

for the woman ready to expand her business from the plane of possibility:

Private Breakthrough Mentorship

Private Mentorship is the perfect fit for woman who wants to become her own success story, massively increasing her wealth, confidence, and visibility.

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How I learned to become Magnetic | success coaching for entrepreneurs, madison WI

A taste for what I wanted...and feeling lost

A year ago, I felt pretty lost in my coaching business. I knew there was so much more impact that I was here to make. I had had a taste of that. But I didn’t know that I was still learning so much about how to make the biggest, brightest impact possible. And that meant some awesome highs ($10-15k months) followed by really big lows-($27.12/month).

I couldn’t seem to replicate my success. And it was really bumming me out.  

A decision to go all out to rise above my circumstances

When COVID-19 hit in March of 2020, I added to that confusion anxiety. I had done so much mindset work to heal my experience with anxiety and here we were again. It was during quarantine, when the whole world seemed to be struggling and terrified, that I had had enough. 

I made a decision at the end of March. NO more letting my circumstances define me. I committed to always always ALWAYS rising above my circumstances. 

And, as scary as it felt, with $1200 in savings and my husband’s job on the chopping block, I jumped.  

The immediate results

It all started with me. I walked myself through clearing my own blocks and limiting beliefs. I cleared each and every block right were it lived and ran the show-deep in my unconscious mind. 

And as I did, I was shocked at the amazing things that began to happen.

First, I began sleeping better at night.

Then, I had a surge in energy and creativity-I felt like the programs, content, copy, and marketing ideas were just oozing out of me! I felt limitless and completely confident. 

I was hooked! So I drafted up the steps I had just walked myself through, gave it a name, and decided to sell it. 

This is when I made Magnetic Minds®!

And that was the first $10k month I had had all on my own-no team, no ads, just me selling something that had brought me some pretty incredible results already. I also paid off our debt, and found a way to make some of our dream home renos (a fenced in yard! new floors!) From there, I truly felt magnetic in my business. I was creating $10-25k months and my client results were pretty unbelievable too!

 It didn’t stop with me-my client results

Many clients who had been struggling with self-worth and anxiety began to report the same experience I had-better sleep at night, a surge in creativity, and sales numbers increasing sharply. 

One client DM’d me and said “I don’t know, but ever since we worked together, my business catapulted into the stratosphere!”

Clients were collapsing their previous year’s income into their monthly income. They were creating new products and programs, they were increasing their rates, and they were fearlessly pitching collaborations and product placements. 

I couldn’t believe what was happening! 

And yet I could. I knew this would happen for them.

I stepped out into the wild blue yonder of my own limitless potential and people were following.

We became magnetic.

It's your turn.

It really had worked for me and there’s a growing number of women on the rise, claiming the abundance, confidence and power that was meant for them. 

If my story inspires you...

If the growing tribe of MM alumni inspire you...

If you’re DONE waking up one more morning, feeling the weight of not being good enough, just making it, or feeling like your business is taking away from your life instead of giving back to it, I've felt it too. 

And I know just how scary it feels to take a leap and say YES to your vision for yourself and your business. 

But...from the other side, I am telling you it's more than worth it..it's a complete no-brainer. 

You don't have to keep fighting your limiting beliefs. You can release them completely deep in your unconscious mind during Magnetic Minds.