How to heal your consistency issues | Bay Area mindset coach

A client recently dropped this gem of a question in a Q&A:

I think my biggest questions are HOW do I leave that scarcity mindset - specifically around my health. I find that I always go all in, do awesome for 2 days, then make a misstep and throw in the towel. I find that pattern repeat in many areas of life and I don’t know how to stop the cycle. I just want a consistent, balanced, maintained practice.

If you’ve ever struggled with being consistent, showing up for yourself all the way through until you’ve crossed the finish line, and you feel discouraged even thinking of starting something new-especially when that new thing involves improving yourself in some way, tune in to this video. It’s a good one.

My old “self-improvement” strategy | self-abandonment

A few years ago, I would have named consistency one of my worst weaknesses. It was embarrassing to me and something I felt deep shame around. For me the cycle went a lot like this:

1. Learn something new

2. Have a breakthrough about this new knowledge as it relates to me

3. Envision how it would feel to change

4. Get all worked up and excited to make a change

5. Commit

6. Immediate self-doubt

7. half-hearted try at this new commitment

8. Mess up

9. Give up

That’s it. That was my self-improvement strategy for decades of my life-since I was a small girl.

My new self improvement strategy | personal excellence

Now, however? I can’t imagine not seeing something I’ve committed to all the way through. I can’t imagine abandoning a launch even though the response to it isn’t great. I can’t imagine starting a journaling practice commitment and not seeing it all the way through. Why? Because I’ve healed the real problem.

For me, it was never about a lack of follow through, it was really me being at war with myself and abandoning myself.

When I healed my need to abandon myself when I doubted my capabilities, follow through became a natural by-product of my commitment to me.

Leading from a place of personal excellence is my life’s vision: I choose to be a better human every day and only use my own data to inform my progress. I don’t compare myself to others, I don’t wish I were different, and I no longer check out when I’m having a hard time.

Now, one of the things I’m most proud of is that I can be present with myself when things feel hard, overwhelming, scary, or painful. I’ve got my own back.

This is the greatest gift I’ve ever given to myself.

Enjoy today’s video and comment to let me know if my story or this coaching snippet resonates with you. I hope it does.

Much love to you today.

Video | Consistency doesn’t make you worthy of your dreams.

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How to spot your next breakthrough

the breakthrough cycle™

HOW TO OBSERVE YOUR NEXT BREAKTHROUGH

Breakthroughs are a naturally occuring process. Flowers blooming in the spring is a full breakthrough cycle. Flowers bloom in the wild or they can be planted. Breakthroughs happen naturally, or they can be created.

But the first step is to observe the process.

the breakthrough method™

HOW TO CREATE YOUR NEXT BREAKTHROUGH

Humans are the only part of nature that chooses whether we’ll complete a breakthrough cycle. Everything else in nature just does it.

And most people don’t complete the cycle.

In nature, we’d consider it a problem if flowers didn’t break through their buds and bloom. But for some reason, we believe not completing a breakthrough cycle on a regular basis is normal.

It isn’t normal or healthy.

And learning how to complete breakthrough cycles is the key to unlocking your greatest potential in business.

The Breakthrough Method guides you in the process of first observing a breakthrough as a natural process and then CREATING your own when you’re ready. We use my signature 5 steps to prep your mind to create a breakthrough, just like planting a plant.

the 5 steps of the breakthrough method™

STEP 1 | CLARIFY

In step one, we use my proprietary tool, the Breakthrough Board to create a clear vision on what you want in life and business and learning how to scientifically use the tool of day-dreaming to start creating a new life for ourselves. Starting with the end in mind is your most powerful catalyst for change

STEP 2 | IDENTIFY

This is where most visionaries misstep. Instead of using step one to help us manifest our dream life, we're going to do something different-we're using it as a catalyst to dig up our limiting beliefs and learn what to do with them. Because we can't change them if we don't know what they are!

STEP 3 | REWRITE

Since we know exactly what's holding you back from powerfully creating a reality of your choosing, it's time to rewrite those beliefs with the ones you want. Unless you have support in this step, most people get frustrated and quit here. This works...but you need support to do it correctly

STEP 4 | EMPOWER  

This step is where we begin setting up your morning and evening success routines and create your business and personal action plans. It's time to step into a new identity! The biggest mistake people make in step 4? They quit way too early! Thought change takes 66+ days to fully take effect! And I'm with you every step of the way 

STEP 5 | INTEGRATE  

Now that you're creating identity level change, we're going to re-integrate your business practices into this new identity, focusing on clarifying your messaging and offers, producing a compelling brand story, and streamlining your work to align with that dream life you want. As we restructure your business, we're creating something original to you and filling the 5 buckets of a healthy business.

What is your comfort zone and how it's affecting your business

REAL-TALK…WHY DON’T YOU ALREADY HAVE THE CLIENTS AND THE MONEY you desire?

your comfort zone is holding you back.

And event though it’s called a “comfort” zone…it’s anything but comfortable.

And the more time we spend there, we can’t figure out why we’re living perpetually unfulfilled, stressed out, fearful, disappointed lives.

what our comfort zone isn’t

• Where we get to relax

• no pressure

• a place where our minds change out of work clothes, getting jammies on, and getting cozy on a couch

• a relief or escape

• where life stays safe

what our comfort zone is

• stress/worry/anxiety

• doubt

• second-guessing

• disappointment

• regret

• anger

• resentment

• frustration

• fear

• disappointment

• unfulfilled dreams

Your comfort zone is actually filled with all the dreams that you don’t believe you can fulfill and it leaves you with anything but comfort. Unless you choose to change, this is what your mind is set to choose for you.

ARE YOU OVER LIVING IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE YET?

I'M SO OVER IT!

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5 characteristics of the intuitive business | Mindset coaching for female entrepreneurs

After digging into the ego-driven business in this post, a few questions came up. Questions like
What does the ego sound like?

What do I do about this?

What do I do if I’m surrounded by the ego mind?

Today, let’s start by talking about the opposite of the ego, your intuition.

5 characteristics of your Intuition

1. Fueled by your purpose, vision, and mission

2. Focused on impact

3. Lives in abundance and infinite potential

4. Self-compassionate and loving

5. Finds worthiness in self. Spreads love to all

When you listen to your intuition, you can run your business from a place of love and impact. Ego is a natural safety mechanism in all of us, however if you see it and don’t like it, you have a responsibility to change it.

How to shift from ego to intuition:

ego=self-protection. So your first move is to identify what you’re trying to protect yourself from and see what comes up. Journal around questions like: What am I afraid of? What do I think will happen if I…?

Second, give yourself a safe space to dream. This concept worked wonders for me: I give myself a “what if” time period. In that time, I only explore ideas and then put them back. I don’t act on anything-there’s a time for that, but right now is the time for dreaming and brainstorming. This is a major abundance move because you’re trusting that everything will happen in the right time and that you’ve got everything you need right now.

Lastly, choose wisely who you surround yourself with. Remember that you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you’re spending time with people who re scarcity minded, gossiping about others, and triggering about everything, then you’ll act like them.

Comment below-how did this resonate with you?

5 Characteristics of the ego-driven business | Mindset tips for female entrepreneurs

I was scrolling through instagram recently when I saw someone sharing business advice. 

And it. 

Was. 

Terrible. 

It wasn’t terrible because it was bad advice, but it was terrible because of what this post did after giving the advice. After giving this advice, the person went on to say that if you didn’t follow their advice (which was an arbitrary preference, not something backed by any data), you would be disrespected as a business owner. 

I was shocked and disappointed to see a person with influence wielding it to control and limit others by creating rules and then instilling fear in people if they didn’t follow them...but here’s the thing. This mindset has a name. And it exists in ALL of us. 

So, let’s learn about this mindset so that when we notice it in ourselves, we can quiet it and choose something better. And when we notice it in others, we can steer clear of it-because mindset is contagious. The mindsets you spend the most time with have the most influence on you. 

What’s the ego driven mind? 

You might hear the word “ego” and immediately think of a person who’s full of themselves-someone who “has a big ego,” perhaps. But the ego-mind isn’t just someone talking about themselves with high regard...possibly with a few eye rolls from the peanut gallery.

The ego mind is a part of our thinking minds made to keep us playing small. It will do anything to protect us and keep us safe and is completely obsessed with maintaining appearances to others. 

This part of the brain knows no end to manipulation and control if it feels threatened or insecure, but more importantly? 

The ego-driven mind is deeply insecure and disempowered. So lets get to know what this looks like a bit better so you can recognize when it shows up in your thinking.

5 traits of an ego driven business

1. Fueled by fear, doubt, and worry

2. Worried about appearances (comparison)

3. Lives by limitation

4. Self-centered and critical

5. Finds validation in separation

Where will ego take your business?

Ultimately ego is the mindset of comparison and either putting others down or limiting and controlling them on their path to success. You can either drive this behavior or receive it and feel put down and judged. But if you realize you’re operating from an ego state, it’s time to make a change. 

My story with an ego-driven business

A few years ago, the ego completely drove my life and business. Constantly worried about appearances, I would stress about weight gained, followers lost, and people ghosting. 

But what I didn’t know was my purpose, vision and mission. These worries were low-level distractions that only led me to loss and grief. 

The ego is most pleased when you’re spinning in circles trying to fix irrelevant issues. It feels most comfortable playing the comparison game and living in the thoughts that start with “what if…” “I can’t” and “I should.”
Your ego will only levy expectation and judgment on you. And that’s not healthy for anyone.

What’s the alternative?

The alternative to living and thinking in your ego mind is your higher self, your intuition or your soul. While there are a bunch of different names for this part of your thinking, your intuition (My personal fave description) is fueled by your goals, vision, purpose, and mission. It is kind and compassionate, and operates from your best interest. Your intuition isn’t dramatic and is often quiet if you haven’t been listening to it. It brings up limiting beliefs not to distract you, but to allow you to get rid of them. 

5 characteristics of your Intuition 

1. Fueled by your purpose, vision, and mission

2. Focused on impact

3. Lives in abundance and infinite potential

4. Self-compassionate and loving

5. Finds worthiness in self. Spreads love to all

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