What you resist persists

A few months ago I was getting into a really great diet routine, I was working out regularly and just feeling really good. This change and effort was coming from a place aligned with my identity, (where we always create lasting change).

I was so excited, and then I got sick, and not just me, our whole family. My 12 month old son was up in the middle of the night throwing up and it was just terrible. We were all really weak, sick, and tired. The sad thing is that we didn’t only get sick the one time. We got sick the first time, got a little break just in time to have my son’s birthday party. We made the mistake of having 18 people stay with us and then we were sick all over again.

While I was in the process of getting over my stomach bug the second time, I found myself getting discouraged. I was discouraged because I was thinking about all of the things that I was excited for in my health, and my business. As I was laying in bed recovering, trying so hard not to throw up the cracker that I just ate, I thought of something interesting. What you resist persists.

How do we resist?

What I mean by that is the more we hold things at arm’s length and try to hold things off, the more those things persist in our lives. Now what we may not be thinking of is the fact that when we resist things we’re avoiding them. We are doing our best to keep them away from us. There are things in our lives that we hold at bay, whether it is some kind of outcome, social situation, money situation, or really anything.

What we do not realize is that we are using a whole lot of effort to hold that thing off. So, for example let's say that we want to hold off debt in our lives. What are we actually focusing on? We are focused on the debt itself. We do not focus on the abundance in our life right now. Right?

What I found in my season of illness and our household getting sick over and over again is that the more I thought about how sick I was and that I didn’t have time for this, the longer that sickness persisted. I kept thinking to myself how awful this season of life was that we were going through, I became frustrated because I wasn’t feeling better as quickly as I thought I should. The more I focused on that, the longer the sickness went on. I am not saying that it went on only because I was focused on that, but just keep in mind the reality that what we resist persists.

What resisting looks like

These are a few examples of things that I used to do in regards to resisting. In another business of mine I spent a year where I was focused on getting reviews for that business. I saw another business owner doing it and I felt like I needed to get really good reviews also. But I also thought I can’t get any bad reviews and I inwardly begged that nobody would leave me a bad review. I kept focusing on creating this resistance, like I was holding the door closed on someone who is trying to get in. That is what resistance feels like.

During that year I was so focused on not getting any bad reviews, which created resistance. I was trying so hard to hold off the bad reviews on our 6-7 year old business. As I look back, can you guess which year we did get one bad review? Your right! It was the year that I placed all my energy and focus on the very thing that I didn’t want.

Resistance can also feel like driving a car. You have a foot on the gas, but you also have your emergency brake on. You can still drive your car with the emergency brake on, but it is really difficult and will eventually severely damage your car.

Take a look at yourself

I want to encourage you to take a look at your life and see if there is something that you can easily identify that you are avoiding. Something that you are kind of trying to keep out by holding the door closed as it tries to push its way in. Like an annoying little brother who would be trying to get into a room and I would be fighting and holding the door closed because he was annoying me. If you have something like that in your life, it isn’t necessarily bad news for you, but you should know that it is really just going to keep coming up for you.

Putting all of that time and effort into focusing on holding the door closed means that all of your strength and energy is invested into the very thing that you do not want. This means that you are probably going to still end up getting the result that you don’t really want.

You may be asking now, how do we change that? Here are a few quick tips for you that can help:

Tip Number 1

Start visualizing what you do want instead of what you do not want.

Stay focused on what you want, and do not allow yourself to get distracted by the things that you don’t want.

Tip Number 2

Check on your support system.

Do you have a support system? Does your support system understand how lonely entrepreneurship can be? Does your support system see how sometimes you are sitting in a room all by yourself? How your doing things against all the obstacles that come up, how you are taking risks, and how money can be scary and you may not know when your paycheck is going to come in, or even how it is going to come in? Do they get it? If they don’t, look for a support system that specifically understands the unique and difficult challenges of entrepreneurship.

Tip Number 3

Get out your journal.

You may be thinking, “Oh my word, another journaling person.” No, journaling scientifically does things in our brains that moves out beliefs from one portion of our brain to the other and then out. This is not a one and done situation, you have to be regularly writing out your thoughts. Our limiting beliefs, and our negative thoughts don’t have to just stay inside of our brains. We can take action and move them out by writing.

Rewiring for success

I often take my clients through a four week process where we spend time rewiring our brains for success. Because the reality of all of this is that our brains are designed to keep us safe, and to keep us away from danger. Being entrepreneurs is hard on our brains because most of the things that we need to act on to succeed are way outside of our brains comfort zone.

We have so many responsibilities, we are the ones who work out our taxes and our business expenses. We are the ones who have to constantly be innovating. If we don’t innovate, no one else will, if we don’t innovate no one disapproves. But most importantly, if we do not innovate, our business dies.

All of that brings me to the point that I am really trying to focus on. You need to shift some things in order to stop all of the resisting in your life. My point is that what you resist persists, so if we stop resisting all of the things in our lives, then we naturally have to create a state of allowing. This is the place that caused me to feel a little uncomfortable. For me it was simply that I was sick and I would stay that way for a little while, until both I and my body as a whole was feeling better.

Instead of holding off, or feeling depressed or angry, what if we just sat with our feelings for a little while? What would that ultimately change? What space would that blow open inside of your heart? What creativity might start flowing? This conversation is so important to have with yourself.

For me this conversation looks a little like this. Yes I am sick. But instead of resisting that because it keeps persisting, I am going to accept it and allow it and recognize that I am still okay if nothing changes as quickly as I would like.

I am seeing alot of people right now focusing on change and strategy in their businesses. I am seeing articles like - Three quick tips that you do to market your business , or Three ways that you can create passive income. But you know the reality is that none of those things matter. If your brain is hardwired for failure, if it is hardwired to keep you limited and safe, you are going to be failing. All of those skills and strategies are like putting a bandaid on a wound that requires surgery. Does that method make any sense? No. What first needs to happen is you need to rewrite your beliefs, and rewire your brains.

Our brains filtration system

Our brains have something inside them called the Reticular Activating System. This is essentially our filter system. The world around causes us to receive way too much data into our brain at any one time, so our brains are made with a filter system. How our brains filter that data is based on what we believe. Our brains will look at what we believe - which is thought plus emotion repeated over and over and over again. Then our brains will take that and say, “I’ll just automate that belief and I’ll bring in everything that lines up with that belief and I will filter out anything that doesn’t.”

We spend so much of our time using our brains in their default setting, when our brains are meant to be our operating system that we program with our specifications, what we need. I believe that God has given us these beautiful brains and we don’t even invest any time in learning how to use them. All too often we let the outside circumstances dictate how we feel. However we need to remember that we create change from the inside out, like we are the thermostat. We set the temperature and it stays at that temperature no matter what the temperature is outside. We should be like a thermostat, not going up or down depending on the temperature that is around us. We set the temperature because we are working from the inside out.

Two important things to remember as you are developing your mindset in our business, or even if you are going through something in your life. What you resist persists, and Set the temperature for your own success. Don’t forget what can happen if you simply sit in the moment with your circumstances and embrace where you are at. You will not be disappointed with the results.

Am I upper limiting? How I recognized and overcame an upper limit

I'm learning that I'm my own worst enemy. I want success...but I'm starting to see that I'm often the only thing standing in my way. I saw that SO clearly yesterday while performing!

Recognizing my upper limit problem

I began doing vocal performance for events when I was 14 years old. I was an awkward teenager in a new school and assumed a lot of pressure on myself. I mentioned it here, but I had a habit of choking (literally) during my actual performances. I'd swallow a note (like...I'd totally make a "GLUG!" sound. Oh my word.) in EVERY song at about the 2/3 mark. I'd get sick before every performance-wake up with a cold, sore throat, sometimes a sinus infection, definitely lots of snot happenin'. I was pretty sure I couldn't sing...and I always pulled through, just not at my best. 

I started noticing this pattern develop in other areas of my life. Anytime I was faced with the decision to step forward, be seen, or be in a place to be critiqued publicly, I'd choke. This past fall, I tested an idea of launching a live event. Every time I was ready to actually tell the world "I'm doing this! Come to my event!" I'd wake up the day of the scheduled action with a nasty cold. 

At first I thought it was a coincidence, but then I started wondering if it was a form of self-sabotage! Who knows? It sounded so crazy to me, but I I figured it was worth knowing how I was standing in my own way. 

Learning about upper limits

I started reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and within a few pages, I had a pretty clear picture of my self sabotage. From getting physically sick EVERY time I needed to step into the spotlight to messing up during my performance...every time, I saw that I just couldn't handle the level of success I was aiming for. My brain sensed the dissonance and tried to take one for the team and keep me safe. 

Breaking my upper limit

But I'm not staying safe this year. I'm moving fast and breaking things. I'm testing ideas, learning, making mistakes, and growing. So, this past sunday I began my first upper limit problem test!

I was scheduled to lead worship at my church and as I got there, my nerves set in. I felt the mucus building up in my throat and blocking my voice. I felt my throat tightening to the point that no sound would come out. And all of a sudden, I had a case of dry mouth like nothing I've ever experienced. I literally couldn't shape words. Images of past failures flooded my mind. Times when I completely FORGOT the words to our national anthem in a stadium filled with people, when my voice cracked on the big note, the countless times I choked on a noted and made that ridiculous "GLUG!" sound right into the mic. I could taste the hot lemon water I'd down, hoping it would stop my incessant throat clearing. 

Visualizing my ideal state 

And then I stopped listening to myself. I decided that I'm the thinker of my thoughts and it was time to choose a positive thought. As I sat on the hard stool under the spotlights, doing sound checks, I coached myself and it sounded like this: 
"hey! It's okay to feel scared! Everyone here loves you though. There's no pressure. Think of one time you sang your lungs out and felt no stress. You sang and you loved it. There was no pressure. Just singing."

And soon enough, I could see myself worshiping in church, singing, my mind lighting up with ideas for new sounds. My hands raised in heartfelt worship, tears streaming down my face. There was no pressure, there was only love and earnest, heartfelt singing. 

"there you go. Negative thoughts are easy. This year's not for easy, it's for breaking things. Focus on that thought. Only that thought. No pressure, no one telling you what not to do. Just sing."

And I sang. The sound that came out during sound checks was quite frankly awful. I squawked a flat few bars into the mic and immediately apologized to everyone, scratching my neck furiously and feeling so ashamed. 

"You know, it doesn't have to be this way, Steph. You can choose not to stay here. You can break the limit. You can JUST enjoy singing. You can be real and let it go. You don't need to clear your throat first. You're fine. Just sing."

And I tried again. I was a little surprised to hear a voice that had so little stress in it. I was used to covering my stress by manipulating and forcing the sound of my voice. But this sound rang out true and clear! I actually startled myself, then I tried again.

Taking the big leap

"There you go! Now, leap. You can have more. You can have better. You have something to say. Don't wait. Don't ask permission. Just sing. Invite people in."

And I did. Everytime I felt the panic rise, I pictured myself in that ideal state, singing with abandon and joy. I sang. I smiled. I shared important things with people I loved. 

And I made the leap.

Have you ever experienced an upper limit problem in your life? Comment below: what are the signs that you're reaching your upper limit in an area? Do you get sick? Pick a fight with someone you're perfectly happy with? start thinking negative thoughts in an otherwise peaceful situation? Create a problem?

6 beliefs of a scarcity based business | Madison, WI Business coach

I used to believe some dumb stuff about entrepreneurship. Things that sounded a lot like this:

6 beliefs of a scarcity based business

”I can’t get the right kind of clients.”
”Nobody will pay me the prices I want to charge.”

“business is hard.”

“marketing feels sleezy”

“I don’t wanna sound “salesy” because people will never buy from me.”

“I need to just be SO GOOD that people fall at my feet throwing money at me in all my goddess glory.”

What. the. heck. That’s a crock of poo, to be honest. (although I def dig the visual of people throwing money at me in my goddess glory. I’ll still keep that part, tbh.) I’m sure you can guess how much money I was making when these beliefs dominated my business:

$40k Gross. whomp whomp. (that means I think I made a little under $20k that year. Oof.

But, I learned some awesome new thoughts that changed everything for me.

3 mindset shifts that launched me into abundant marketing

Instead of asking “where in the world is "$_________ coming from?”

I started asking myself:

“how can I have FUN making $_________?”

Instead of asking: “how come it’s so easy for everyone else to make money?”

I started saying:

“Money comes easily to me.”

And instead of wondering “where are all the GOOD clients? Why aren’t they finding me?” I learned an important lesson that year:

You don’t have to sit around waiting for clients to find you. You can go get them!

So I stepped back, created a marketing plan for Black Friday, and sailed past my big 6-figure goal with ease!

Soon, I realized that I could apply the same principles at ANY time of the year and booked my entire year’s calendar FULL in 4 months flat. The best part? I was having fun doing it! I was testing strategies, incentives, and marketing ideas and it felt like a big game to me.

Isn’t that the POINT of having this business of yours?

That you have FUN?

That you have a LIFE?

and that you have JOY while serving others with your products or services?

I mean…if I’m wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Master YOUR marketing | an online workshop

Since I believe that your business should allow you the freedom to live your life and have fun doing it, I’m hosting a live online workshop to help YOU create that same reality!

Join my Master Your Marketing Workshop to learn:

• My 3 bucket system for planning when, where, and HOW to bring new clients into my business.

• My Sold Out Offer Formula

• How to sell on Instagram stories (I marketed this program solely on instagram stories and brought in $6800!)

Join us now. It’s a recorded mastermind call. You get to wear your jammies and drink your coffee (or wine). You get to roll out an actual calendar and dry erase marker and plan. You get to redraft your offers so that they start selling, not sitting on your website gettin’ dusty. And you get to ask questions, and get new ideas just. for. your. business.

See you there!

3 business lessons I learned from making sandwiches | Madison, WI business coaching

It’s rainy and cold. What do you make for dinner?

Tomato soup and grilled cheese-it’s a classic! And that’s just what I did a few weeks ago. An easy meal, perfect for a chilly gray day. Until I burned the life out of the grilled cheese. facepalm. But, as soon as I flipped those charred sammies, I knew exactly what I was supposed learn-like a big thunk on my forehead from God.

I’m getting really stinkin’ good at learning lessons in my everyday activities-so good, in fact, that I will often call Stephen while drive just two miles away to the store to share something I learned! I’ve been keeping a little list of those lessons-here’s the first one:

3 business lessons I learned from making grilled cheese sandwiches

Don’t overthink things

A grilled cheese is one of the simplest food items you can make. Seriously, bread, cheese, butter. But the last time I made a grilled cheese, the outside was dark and the cheese wasn’t super melty, so I decided to look up a recipe.

(I doubted myself)

Then I decided to zhouzh up the sandwich with a yummy spread.

(I wanted to create the best possible product)

All I could think was “Oh, I hope Stephen’s super impressed with my gourmet grilled cheese!” I spent so much time concerned about his opinion of these dumb sandwiches that I overthought every step. How to butter the bread. How to get them that perfect golden-brown. How to get the cheese gooey.

(I was frantically attached to an outcome)

As I ooooooverthought each step, I got the opposite result from what I wanted. A charred sandwich that no one wanted.

Sometimes, the more we try to make something perfect for someone, the more prone we are to make mistakes. We overcomplicate things. We get stuck in a vortex of adding…and never actually finishing. And we overthink an otherwise simple job.

How to fix an overthinking problem

How can you take action on something you know you’ve been overthinking? What do you just need to put out into the world that you’re currently overthinking and you know it?

Hit publish.

Hit record.

Click send.

And stop overthinking it.

Make the best product you can without overthinking it.

Learn to focus

I was so busy stirring soup, refreshing my phone screen, reading the recipe, adding ingredients, and checking temps that, without thinking, I added olive oil to my pan (mistake #1). I then let the oil overheat (mistake #2). When I laid down the already buttered bread, the smoking oil burned the bread on contact.

You see, there’s a looooot of our brain that runs on auto pilot to conserve energy. I mean, our brains burn somewhere around 80% of our total daily calories, so that smart lil thing wants to put itself on cruise every chance it can.

In my case, I had wayyyy too many things happening at once. I maxed out my thinking capacity, and parts of my brain started conserving energy by running on autopilot. What do I normally do when I take out my skillet? I add oil. I didn’t even have to think-I just did it, even though it wasn’t what I needed for this job.

Here’s the thing-There are SO many times in our businesses that we’re trying to do WAY too many things at once and, in the process, we over complicate simple jobs. We overthink things that should be easy, and we don’t get things done because we keep thinking of something to fix or reword.

You’ll know when to flip-taking action intuitively

The last lesson came after I remade the dang sandwiches. I tuned out distractions, stopped caring about what Stephen thought about my sandwiches, and just started making them.

In fact, I stayed focused while they toasted in the pan. I didn’t scroll on my phone. I just stood there. I wanted to give my intuition the chance to nudge me and it did! All of a sudden, I had a feeling that it was time to flip the sandwiches. I lifted the corners and they were perfect!

And in that moment, I realized that a lot of business is like that. When you get quiet, focus, and listen to your intuition, you’ll know exactly when it’s time to take action, release a new product, launch a course, unroll a new service.

So, how can you find a way to get quiet in your life and business so you can listen to your intuition?

Sarah Porter Photography | Business Coaching Testimonial

Before working with Stephanie, I was a hot mess. I was always worried that I was missing out on business.

I was grasping at straws to get any business I could and was always questioning myself and my value.

Stephanie helped me realize I had a lot of blocks around my success and my value.

I can honestly say that my time with Stephanie completely shifted my life and business as a whole.

The way she approaches helping you find your footing and take ownership of your business has paid off in my life in dividends.

My family can attest to the fact that I'm a much happier person because my mindset work in coaching.

Because of Stephanie, I launched a second business, and raised my wedding photography pricing by $2300/sale, but...

Even if there wasn't a tangible result, my investment in coaching would still have been worth it because it changed my life.

My three secrets to getting a lot of stuff done

Chances are, you're your own boss (even if this is a side gig). You're the engine that grinds this whole business thing forward and you're where the buck stops. I've gotta be real with you-sometimes that terrifies me. Anyone else feel that pressure sometimes? It used to look like these thoughts swarming around in my mind: 

• "What if I have an off day?" 
• "What if I'm sick?"
• "What if what I'm doing doesn't work and I have NO clue?"

So, for a while, I wouldn't do ANYTHING. Obviously, that didn't get me too far...at least not FORWARD! It took me a year of mindset work and creating routines and habits to see how to create a week filled with intention and success. 

Here’s my secret sauce that create a work week that allows for coffee with a friend, taking care of my baby,  and still driving profits to my business.

Secret #1: Create your morning and evening routines

Think of a garden-if you're planting vegetables, you first make the container or bed to plant your vegetables in. Your morning and evening routines are your containers! Now, what you put inside them is where you'll start seeing some magic! Because once you have the container, you can plant seeds and see growth!

 When you've got a killer morning and evening routine, all that mindset and energy work you're doing will start to take hold in your life. 

While I'm a mama and my morning and evening routines are flexible right now, here's what I'm doing for my growth:

My morning routine

I get up before my son's first morning feeding (he's sleeping through the night now) and go for a walk. During this time, I listen to nature, focus on breathing, and begin practicing gratitude.

When I get back, I make or enjoy my coffee and read for a few minutes. Honestly, my reading time is pretty brief right now-I don't have a ton of stamina here but reading stamina is like muscle-you can increase it over time. Right now, I'm happy if I stay awake to read for 5 minutes, but I look forward to when it's 6 minutes...then 7...you get it!

After reading, I take time for prayer and meditation and follow up with journaling. And of course, journaling leads to brainstorming, which is when I have my best ideas!

My Evening Routine

Why make an evening routine? Your subconscious mind controls 95% of your actions...WHOA. And it's most active while you sleep. So...if you want to shift your subconscious thinking, the best time to do it is right before it's most active! Give it some fuel! During this time, I do some specific reading, affirmations, and meditation. Then, as Stephen and I fall asleep, we share what we're grateful for.

Secret #2: Make space for your best ideas

Even if I only do this on Monday mornings (which totally happens), I take time to journal. I write prayers, get burdens and stressors off my chest, make mind maps, lists, and write out dreams. Then I breathe for a minute. 
I know I’ve talked about journaling...like so much forever but what about the breath before the journaling? 
That’s the magic!
During that time, ideas flood my brain. Why? (tell me you already know why!) Because there's ROOM for them now!! Making SPACE is seriously when the magic happens. I've drafted numerous course outlines, coaching content ideas, and marketing plans during this deeply powerful time! That's some mega brainstorming!

Secret #3: Focus on your top 2-3 goals for the week and day

I ask this in our private facebook group often because I ask myself every monday: "If I only got 2-3 things done this week, what are my big goals?" I focus on tasks that first serve my core purpose, second connect me to the people who need my message, and third that drive my bottom line. 

You can get a million tiny tasks done, but what if you could do 2-3 BIG things that resonated with your tribe and really shifted your business? Wouldn’t you rather have that?

How about you? What's the secret sauce to creating your intentional week?

4 Business Investments I Made In 2017 That Totally Paid Off!

I run a seasonal business and we’re headed into our slow season. Sometimes slow season can bring on the financial scaries. It used to make me want to hibernate until busy season again and keep all that money I have stored up to make it through.

I used to struggle a lot with a very scarcity-driven mindset surrounding my slow season income. You feel me, don’t you? I mean, sometimes it’s hard to see the forest through the trees! All I know is that giving up this money in front of me means I have to shortchange something else, right?

WRONG! I learned this huge lesson over the past year about money in business:

There’s a difference between spending and investing!

When I spend, the money leaves. When I invest, I should see myself get paid back somehow. So, I made some of my biggest investments yet, and I got to see firsthand how they paid off in big ways! Let’s take a look at them and see just how big the payoff was!

(head's up, if you're unfamiliar with the term ROI, it means "return on investment.")

My biggest business investments in 2017 and their ROI

Seeing a counselor

January brought me the painful loss of my second baby. Add in some additional trauma a month later and I quickly realized I was struggling with depression (more like my caring husband realized it and encouraged me to seek help). I probably owe this dear woman about 17 boxes of tissues...but with her help, I began healing and finding hope again. If you take nothing else away from this, I just want you to know this: Sometimes life is hard. Get help when you need it. We were never meant to do life alone. 

My ROI: hope, realigned priorities, healthy relationship with God, community in my church

Finding the right accountant

This one was a massive ROI for me. My previous arrangement caused me to suffer some severe fiscal losses, so you can imagine my relief when I immediately saw an ROI on this investment and change!

My ROI: 10x my investment. I cried in my accountant’s office. So grateful!

Hiring a business coach

Want to know which investment I spent the most on? And which one KEEPS paying off in dividends? It's business coaching-easily my strongest investment of my year. I was so embarrassed and terrified to hire a coach-I didn’t want ANYONE to know I needed help! But I quickly realized that we ALL need help! 

I had some intense mindset issues to work through. But I worked hard and quickly started seeing breakthroughs. Within 2 months of the end of my coaching, I had created 2 new businesses (Stephanie Booth Photography and The Successful Creative), monetized both, and repaid my coaching investment...but check out that ROI!

My ROI: 3x my coaching investment in two months, generated from completely new avenues. Think about that. I spent the MOST money here. Which means seeing money come into my life at that rate means...I welcomed a lot of money into my life after letting a lot go!  In addition, the most powerful ROI I gained was the strength of mindset to recognize and own my strengths and build out a diversified business. How much would those returns be worth to you? What's the pricetag? 

Hiring an assistant 

After months of struggling to find time to send out client gifts, it made sense to hire someone to assemble my client print boxes and send them out. It was a test idea-while at first I was hung up on letting go of money for something I could technically do, paying her (and paying her well!) allowed me to make 6x that amount during the time she worked for me. Ummmm...What the heck took me so long?

My ROI: 6x-because someone was doing this valuable work for me, I made time to meet with a potential freelance client and they booked me on the spot

How will you invest into your business in 2018?

It’s the time of year where a lot of people start thinking about their education for the coming year. What will you invest into that will bring you lasting value? And how much is that return worth to you? If you knew now that you could get a return of 4-10 times your money, what would you invest into? If I could give you one tip it's this: consider business coaching. You won't regret it!

Want to pick my brain about any of these investments? Let's set up a free 30 min call and chat!