How my dedicated inner work affects my marriage

As we drove along the Côte d’Azur, stephen said to me “ I love being with you. When I don’t, it’s because you’re not present.”

I sat with that for a minute, both grateful that he loves to be with me, and wondering why I’d choose not to be present...with someone who enjoys and gets me?

Stories my friend.

I was believing stories that weren’t true. Stories like “You talk too much. Shut up.”

“He’s tired of hearing all the ideas.”

“Don’t get too happy-what comes up must come down.”

And “If you feel too fully, all you’ll feel is hurt.” GUYS. None of that is true!

And I noticed it.

And changed it.

IN THAT MOMENT!

It only took me a moment because I’ve been doing dedicated thought pattern changing work for the better part of two years.

Changing out your stories isn’t that simple when you’re just starting out.

But you can start.

I can teach you.

I go through my 4 step Breakthrough Method in the Breakthrough Mastermind for you. A deep dive to help you change the very thoughts driving your business. The foundations that determine your success. And the framework that sets the stage for bigger dreams coming to life .

Join us and fix the only part of your business that truly needs it.

Back to today’s story:

So...as I reframed my own stories, I set my phone down. I smiled. And I held his hand, knowing that I had everything I’d dreamed of having right here in this moment.

Work/life integration isn't all it's cracked up to be

Today’s casual walk included the Pont du Gard, the worlds tallest Roman bridge.

As much as I hear people tout the value of “work/life integration,” (the concept of being able to work from anywhere...anytime...), I have not wanted to work a single moment. My soul needed R E S T. And I’ve been listening. I’ve been learning to love myself and my body, falling more in love with Stephen, and our big, beautiful world.

Sometimes being able to work from anywhere is dumb. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Unplug if you want to. But make sure to find a way to LISTEN to yourself and honor what you need. If you don’t, you’ll be working every spare moment, no matter where you are. I’ve already experienced regret of being home with Ansel but not being present because I’ve been fitting work into the little books and crannies. It wasn’t worth it then and as I’ve taken time to allow my mind and body to exist in the same place at the same time, I’ve experienced so much more joy.

If you’re proud to be someone who can work anywhere, anytime, I want to call you to something better. Learn to disconnect. To cruise in neutral for a bit, and then to dial into presence and joy again instead.

This helped me stop caring what other's think of me

So, today I saw this pretty little moment and had to have a photo...and then realized I was photographing someone’s luxury hotel rental. I was promptly escorted away and was def a little embarrassed.

But if there’s anything that helped me learn to not care about things that don’t matter, it’s a language barrier.
When I’ve sorted through language limitations, I’ve found that suddenly it’s so much easier to keep the main thing the main thing.

Because I have to focus completely on communication, I’m not worried about perception. About likability. And I’m not finding my worth in the validation of others. For the first time, I can’t. And all of a sudden, things clicked for me. I DONT NEED TO CARE. There are so many precious things to give my care to. What someone I don’t know thinks of me is no longer one of them.

When I choose kindness and compassion, I have little to worry about because I know my intentions are true and loving. And the rest is just not mine to concern myself with.

It’s not my job to change what someone thinks of me. It’s their right to think what they will. It’s my responsibility to operate from a place of love and kindness.

How about you? Have you ever felt concerned with what others think of you? Drop a comment below if you resonate with this!

What's the difference between trust and a victim mentality

Take a sec on this beautiful Monday morning and check in with your biggest fan (YOU.) are you acting like and living as though life is happening for you? Or to you?

What’s the difference?

Trust vs. a victims mentality. When we really believe life is unfolding FOR us, we live and take action from a place of trust. Trust that things we don’t understand are happening for our highest good.

But when we believe life is happening TO us, we live reactive, defensive, and like a victim. Instead of radiating that beautiful energy of trust and confidence, we whine, complain, say “why me?” Or “this isn’t fair!” You have the choice.

Today, if you trusted that life was happening FOR you, how would you think, feel, and act? What actions would you prioritize in your business? And how would you nurture your two most valuable resources, time and money?

Comment below with your action steps and share with anyone who may appreciate this perspective shift.

How to deal with your inner mean girl

DO YOU HAVE AN INNER MEAN GIRL?

Yesterday, while teaching in a private group, I got this question: “what do you do if you don’t believe in yourself?”

As soon as she asked it, it resonated so deeply with me because it’s been a big piece of my own journey.

Maybe you resonate with this?

For a long time, my inner mean girl dialogue went something like this:

*new 💡 idea*

Stephanie gets really excited

Inner mean girl: whaaaaaat do you think you’re doing? You can’t do that! You’ll be an epic failure! Here’s all the proof I have that you’re a failure.

*inner mean girl lists “proof. Stephanie hangs head and backs away from new idea.*

It’s sad to read, right?

But this is what it can sound like. Why is it easy to be kind to people we don’t know and unkind to the one we know best-US?

If you’ve got a very vocal inner mean girl, I want to share a reframe technique that can help you learn self compassion.

Ask yourself “what if...” In the moment that you’re trying on a new idea. “What if I already had everything I needed right now? What would I do?

“What if I loved myself deeply? What would I do?”

These types of questions help us ease into a new perspective without giving our brains whiplash.

So today, next time you’re experiencing self doubt...and your inner mean girl comes roaring back, ask that question and see what possibilities it opens up for you.

What to do when you're undervalued

I remember my first babysitting gig. I was in 8th grade, I babysat every Tuesday night from 5-8, and I charged...drumroll please...

$2/hour.

Two.

I didn’t particularly love babysitting (a fact which made me scared of having children for a long time) and I remember that it finally dawned on me that $2/hour was, well, not normal.

I remember the first time I raised my rates. It makes me laugh now, but I felt TERRIBLE at the time. So bad that, instead of telling the family I now charged $5/hr...I heard words spilling out of my mouth that I never planned on saying.

“I’m really sorry. I have to charge you more. My new rate is...

…$2.25 an hour.”

Whomp whomp.

8th grade me wasn’t too far from so many entrepreneurs right now though. Frustrated that they’re not making enough

Feeling undervalued

But living within a bunch of limitations preventing them from raising their rates to be integrity with the value they’re providing.

Here’s the truth. This may feel harsh...but hear me out.

The only reason you’re getting undervalued results is because of undervalued THOUGHTS in your mind.
The first step to truly creating, selling, and serving the value you truly want is to first change your thinking.
But changing your thinking isn’t about staring at a vision board or chanting affirmations. It’s not meditation or journaling. It includes these tools at the right time and place. But most people trying to change their mindset go about it all wrong.

Using a vision board is essential. But not how you think,

Using affirmations are essential, but not when you think.

Meditating and journaling are essential, but not from the place of pressure most people operate from.

This is the transformation I create with my clients everyday in my 1:1 breakthrough method coaching. I have a limited number of spots opening for January and 1 was claimed yesterday. If you see how much you need to change your thinking, do not wait. It’s time to not put this off anymore. Get the help. Show up for YOU. And let’s help you be the person and entrepreneur you envision yourself to be.

Growing your revenue

If we haven't met yet, hi! I'm Stephanie. I'm a business and mindset coach specializing in helping photographers create their first 6-figure year. And today, I’m dropping some serious knowledge for FREE. If you’re not signed up to receive my emails, this is the kind of exclusive content I share with them.

Business Growth Hack: Trust your intuition

If you're new around these parts, I regularly invest in learning how to shape my brain for success, not safety. I often do this by running little mindset experiments in my life. In April, I focused on testing out the idea of learning to trust my intuition. I wrote about one example in today's article-what I've learned from this experiment that I didn't share in that post was this:
trusting my intuition has a direct correlation to my income. Take a peak below and see if you can guess which month I ran my "trust your intuition experiment?" (I'm only sharing this info with you, my friend. It pays to be subscribed!)

My Revenue

Mar: $1500 (stress ball, teething baby, building funnels and a launch)
April: $21,000 (hint...it's this one! teething baby, building funnels and a launch, but I chose to believe that I could ALWAYS have what I needed. Pretty cool, eh?)

Here's the key takeaway: Allowing our intuition is also the state of allowing other things...like money and clients!
So, go read that article and ask yourself:

• what am I resisting that I need to just allow?

So often we think that we can resist the things we don't want and allow the things we do...but resistance isn't a button, it's like a radio station. If you're on the resistance station, you get what plays on that station-things to resist, things to stress over. If you're on the allowing station, you get what plays on that station too-lightness, expansion, abundance. Treat yourself with more compassion and kindness, and see what happens as a result.
Read today's business building article

Creating 5-figure months

As I talk about money and mindset, I want to be clear about something REALLY important. Mindset doesn't just make something out of nothing. You still need to take inspired action. Want to know WHY I jumped from $1500/mo to $21,000/mo? I was taking inspired action and building things behind the scenes. In March, I was behind the scenes, focused on building funnels, a launch, a customer journey, and adjusting my KPI's. These are the foundational things that make 5-figure months possible in a young business.
As a business owner, you need to have a firm foundation built in your business. You need to know your numbers, your systems, and your marketing plans. So, please hear me when I say this: 
I didn't mindset my way to a 5-figure year. It's a collaborative effort. 

Attraction + Inspired Action = abundance
 

So today, here's one simple strategy you can use to start creating YOUR 5 figure month. 

What was your average monthly revenue for the past 4 months of 2019? 
Let's face it. It sounds super sexy to say that you've made a 5-figure month when you haven't before. But...the funny thing is that most people don't know the revenue they WERE generating. 
Here's why this is a problem: 

• First, you don't know how close you've been. Maybe you've been making $9999/mo and had no clue, making a big deal of nothing.

• Second, You have no clue if this is sustainable. If you typically book 1 client a month, then implement some cool new strategies and book FIVE new clients...how many months can you do that? Can you handle a leap from 12 clients a year to 60?? Probably not.

*You must must must know your numbers. No B.S. No avoidance. You deserve this.

When you're ready, here are 3 ways we can work together:

If you enjoyed this business building content, focused on thinking AND acting like a successful creative, here are three ways that we can work together when the time is right for you:

If you're looking to learn about limiting beliefs:

The Momentum Challenge

If you need a mindset tuneup

Blindspot Breakthrough

If you’re looking for how to completely transform your mindset:

Magnetic Minds

If you’re looking for 1:1 support building momentum in your business:

Private Mentorship

2 tips to help you stop overthinking your business decisions

Let’s be real, decisions can be rough!
I know this firsthand.
I seriously used to waffle over every decision, big and small. I’m talking everything...including which socks I should wear! No joke friend.
After doing years of mindset work, indecisiveness no longer controls my actions. Instead, my indecision is now a signal for me to check in with myself and ask, “what’s the matter love?” in my very best Brooke Castillo impersonation.

AND...I want you to be able to make that switch as well!

Why? Because if you don’t deal with your indecision, your business growth will stall. In fact, by not making a decision, you are deciding to STAY where you are. If you are like I was just a few years ago, staying is NOT what you want!

So, how can you become more decisive so your indecision doesn’t lead to stress and anxiety?

Remind yourself that you are the one who assigns meaning to a decision

2 steps to stop overthinking 

Step 1 to becoming more decisive and overthinking LESS is to stop assigning such weighty meaning to every decision you have to make.
Your struggle to make a decision comes from the fact that you think your decision is either right or wrong, good or bad. You tie your decisions to what other “might” think of you and stay stagnant out of fear. The truth of the matter is that there are not right or wrong decisions. Nothing is all good or all bad. If you were traveling from NY to CA there are a MILLION different routes you can take. Some will be longer than others. Some will be more direct than others. But the best route will be the one that gets you to CA.

Step 2-Rewire your beliefs about your ability to make a decision.

I’m sure you’ve said things like…

• I’m stuck.

• I’m struggling.

• I’m overwhelmed.

• I’m so stressed.

We all have.

These are not just casual statements about how you are feeling. These are identities you are assigning yourself. These identities make it feel impossible to make a decision and can lead to some major overthinking paralysis.

When you say “I’m stuck”, your brain creates a picture of you being stuck. (My picture is of me with my feet stuck in mud) Your entire demeanor changes. Your brain then takes that and internalizes it and in an effort to automate your thinking (to save energy) it digs that thought pattern deeper and deeper into your cognition. Which makes it harder and harder for you to make a decision...since you are “stuck”.

Instead of telling yourself “I’m stuck” or “I’m overwhelmed”...I want you to say, “I feelstuck” or “I feel overwhelmed”. Your brain will recognize the feeling as something that is temporary and won’t automate that.

Once you’ve replaced your saying of “I’m stuck” with “I feel stuck”, I want you to take it one step further by using the word AND.

So instead of, “I want to book 3 more clients this month, but I’m not sure how” say…

I want to book 3 more clients this month, AND I am not sure how to do that yet.

This simple shift moves you from fixed mindset to growth mindset which will make it easier for your actions to follow!

Your homework this week:

Start redirecting those thoughts so you can start making decisions and moving forward in your biz!

Are you a fellow overthinker? If so, let me know how things are going AFTER making these simple switches!

Feeling stuck in your business? Use this word to get unstuck:

I wanted to hop in here today to give you one quick tip that will drastically change how you approach life and business.

This one tip will reorient you and the way you approach taking action.

It will move you from passive to active.

It will encourage you to move forward instead of stay where you are.

The tip?

Start using the word HOW.

We all say things like:

• Can I really hit 10k this month?

• Can I really get featured in XYZ magazine?

• Can I really stop working 50000000000 hours a week?

BUT...

Everything changes when we add that one little word to the mix.

• How can I really hit 10k this month?

• How can I really get featured in XYZ magazine?

• How can I really stop working 50000000000 hours a week?

Do you see how simply yet drastically that changes things?

Instead of just wondering if things will happen...you shift your mindset into action by asking HOW you can make them happen.

I want you to start implementing this tip TODAY, and let me know how it goes. It seems so small but it can have such a profound impact on your life and your business!

I got locked out of my instagram account...here's what happened:

That's right. I experienced that thing that NOBODY wants to experience.

when I brought up the app, I had a notification that said I had a compromised account and needed to change my password immediately....except I couldn't.
The app kept freezing and I couldn't proceed.

I'll admit-I freaked out a little-wouldn't you?

But ultimately, I couldn't fix it, so I decided to start listening to an e-book while washing some dishes. The first words I heard shook me to my core.
Seth Godin was inside my head asking the question I was already wondering.

"Would they miss you and your value if you were gone?"

I'd spent so much time building my instagram and suddenly, I was wondering-would anyone miss me if I were gone? If I didn't do a live? If I didn't share content on stories or in my captions? Did it even matter?

Have you ever wondered this?

If you haven't asked yourself this question, stop and sit with it for a few minutes-and be honest with yourself.
It's pretty easy to figure out the answer, really. Here's how I know:

• Are you complaining about that dang algorithm again?

• Frustrated that people are playing the "follow/unfollow" game?

• Freaked out about your engagement rate plummeting

If you answered yes to any/all of those questions, I have some hard truth for you. Those are the worries of a victim. Someone putting control of their impact in the hands of a stranger.

The next thing Seth Godin said was this:

Art isn't art until it connects with people. If your art fails (doesn't connect), make better art.

• If you're showing up on instagram with beautiful photos of your work but people aren't engaging, make better art.

• If you're showing up on instagram with a prescribed caption that's guaranteed to get the comments and no one comments, make better art.

• If you post each day, feeling like a mannequin in a window as people walk by, make better art.

So...how do you make better art?

It all starts with having a point of view-something that might stir the pot. And using your voice to speak up about that.

Here's the thing. You aren't for everyone. Your brand will always attract AND repel. But avoiding that reality by not speaking up doesn't make it go away.

If you're not sure what your point of view even is, friend, we have to talk. There is hope-there's a way to change that.

There's a way to take the power out of the hands of a random stranger and reclaim it for yourself.

If this is resonating with you, you can't afford to miss the next round of the Breakthrough Mastermind because this is the very FIRST problem we address.

Doors will be opening soon. People are already waiting to join. Will you be with them?

Learn more about the Ripple Effect Mastermind here