This week has been emotionally exhausting. 2020 has been emotionally exhausting. But each of the hard, sad, shocking, outrageous, scary, and angering circumstance is actually supporting us in our ability to thrive. ⁠

If you're feeling down...I'll bet that you are doing so much better than you thought. Keep readying through to see my 6 signs that you've got what it takes to thrive during the tough times. ⁠

Emotional resilience | The key to thriving

The true key to thriving during hard times isn’t buying the right stocks when they’re low, pivoting your business in just the right way, or having enough experience navigating tough circumstance to know how to rise above them.

all actions result from feelings or emotions.

Emotions are triggered by thoughts.

So…working on your mindset is key, BUT, working on your emotions is also incredibly important to your success.

With each sign, I’ve included a quote-share, repost, pin, etc any quotes that really resonate with you. Tag me at @thestephaniebooth on instagram or link back to this post if sharing on your site or other social platforms.

What is emotional resilience?

Your ability to bounce back from, move on from, or make the best of tough times. Think about it-does it really matter what you do during tough times if you’re doing it with a terrible attitude? If you’re mad at the world? If you are outraged that people don’t feel the same as you?

Those emotions will have a far greater impact than your actions will.

So, if you’d like to build your own emotional resilience, here are the signs to look for:

6 signs that you can thrive during hard times

emotional resilience sign #1

You accept unwanted feelings instead of suppressing, numbing, or projecting them. For me, this one was my biggest step. I felt deeply unsafe experiencing unwanted emotions like, say, anger. For most of my life, anger was only talked about in a negative context and so I avoided any experience where I knew I might feel it.

As I began clearing my own blocks, I started recognizing that emotions don’t last forever. I began accepting whatever I was feeling, and I noticed that as I did, I experienced it less. I didn’t need to feel a surge of anger because I’d feel angry when I needed to and it would subside in less than a minute.

If you’re avoiding your emotions, know that recognizing them and choosing not to change them is an amazing first step. You’ve got this!

Acceptance is an inside job.

emotional resilience sign #2

This one might be my favorite and the most relevant to current events right now: You don't need to convince others around you to feel the same way you do in order to be "right." You honor your own experience.

I used to feel really bewildered and upset at how people were “calling out” influencers for not posting a specific opinion at a specific time. Terms like virtue signaling suddenly became common jargon as those influencers tried to make up for the backlash. I thought to myself “why force something if it’s not a genuine care? Why not educate them and watch them learn how to care about this issue?”

The more I see people shaming others for not expressing a specific opinion at a specific time, the more I realize that often, “shamers” need others to validate their own feelings. And I feel sad that they can’t do that on their own.

We all deserve to self-validate our emotions. We all deserve to say “no matter what anyone else is feeling, this is what I feel. I love and accept myself right now.”

Respect is an inside job.

emotional resilience sign #3

You've created resources that you use to support yourself when you're feeling strong unwanted emotions.

(a self-care menu, a mental health toolkit, etc.)

I’ve shared about my experience with anxiety-my 2020 recap, for example. I am firmly committed to mastering my state and believe that doing so is a hallmark of excellence and success. The other day, I woke up with a familiar tightness in my chest and immediately asked myself “how can I support myself right now?”

I chose a few of my favorite resources from what I call my “Mindset toolkit”, did them, and immediately felt peaceful, grateful, and that tightness in my chest was replaced with an open, swelling feeling of love.

Love is an inside job.

emotional resilience sign #4

You can see and respect another person's perspective without feeling triggered, pressured to agree, or trying to change it.

This has been such a gift from the events of 2020. I’ve really started learning how to understand someone without any need to participate in their point of view.

This is emotional intelligence and leadership .

Leadership is an inside job .

emotional resilience sign #5

You can find silver linings or even have a sense of humor during difficult times.

My husband has a unique ability to joke in almost any circumstance. For most of our relationship, if i was pretty upset at something and he made a joke, I would get mad at him. And honestly, it felt confusing because his jokes were hilarious to me-well-timed and just genuinely funny. (I love his sense of humor.)

Do I laugh? I could feel the sides of my mouth turning up into a smile…nooooo!

BUT I’M SO MAD AT HIM. so I’d shove my mouth back down into a frown…

But dang, that was a good one….and now my mouth was a mangled, confused mix of laughter and anger.

ugh.

I didn’t have the resilience to see the big picture, see positives, and even crack a joke.

A few days ago, amid more national turbulence and my own feelings of fear, I cracked a few jokes. My husband stopped and said “BABE! YOU’RE JOKING!!! Do you know how big a deal this is?”

It was a very big deal.

Perspective is an inside job.

emotional resilience sign #6

You have clear, loving boundaries-you understand that people's words say more about them than you. when people use angry words or attacks, criticize or come at you, that only speaks to their wounds…not yours.

I used to believe everything people said about me. If I learned that someone thought something negative about me, I’d work to change how they saw me. I HAD to! I wasn’t the person they thought I was!! (duh…) Most people show up this way-operating from a need to prove themselves to others. And I’m here to say it’s not needed if YOU approve of you.

Fast forward: I recently received an angry message from someone. Her message to me was filled with anger, conspiracies, and accusations. In the past, I would have felt triggered by the strong emotions and I would have believed what she said about me, entering the conversation with the intention of proving myself to her.

However, this time, I knew that what she said was coming from her own wounds and insecurities, not mine. This is always true. When someone comes to you with strong emotions…that says more about them, than you. This point of view allowed me to release triggered feelings, feel compassion toward her, and then quickly resolve the conflict and move on. I felt completely unphased by her opinions of me. And that rocked my world! YES!

This is one of the biggest signs of compassion-understnading that someone speaks from their OWN wounds and not INTO yours. They can’t. This perspective open us up to feeling deep compassion for them and a desire for them to feel healed and whole.

Compassion is an inside job.